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Why Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More
Relationships usually begin with hearts and butterflies. Everything is fine and dandy. You agree with each other and you compromise. But, as the relationship moves past the “honeymoon stage,” you start to show opinions, differences, and your individual personalities. It is then that you experience a fluctuation in the harmony of the union. A relationship gets tested. If you can have healthy arguments, you can truly learn from one another. Arguing is a major form of communication. It shows individualism, different perspectives and the ability to teach each other. Arguments aren’t necessarily an indicator that there are problems in a relationship. Psychiatrist, Dr. Gail Saltz, with NewYork Presbyterian Hospital, explains that arguing well…
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8 Myths About Marriage You Can Safely Ignore
Myth: You’ll live happily ever after In spite of the fantasy of “marital bliss,” associating marriage with increased personal happiness is highly illogical. Social psychologist Bella DePaulo, PhD, thinks of it this way: “Suppose you found, hypothetically, that people who become accountants are happier than those who become poets. Should all poets then set their imagination aside and set up shop as accountants—and expect to become happier as a result? It’s ridiculous.” In order to be happier as a unit, you have to first be satisfied as a single. That doesn’t mean you won’t love being married, but it won’t magically resolve any longstanding personal issues. (Related: Learning “radical acceptance”…
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Why Holding Hands With Your Partner Can Help Get Rid of Your Headache, According to Science
Whether you’ve got a headache, muscle soreness, or back pain, you’re going to want to reach for the right over-the counter pain reliever. The problem, however, is that pain relief that comes from a bottle can carry side effects—even dangerous ones. For a natural, side effect-free option, reach no further than the palm of your partner’s hand, according to a new study led by Pavel Goldstein, a postdoctoral pain researcher in the Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab at the University of Colorado Boulder. Touch has long been known to have important value, according to the study authors. Specifically, skin-to-skin touch has been shown to help premature infants by regulating their…
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6 Ways To Help You Last Longer In Bed
Quality of sex can be measured in a number of ways. For some folks, the longer it takes, the better it is. Of course, those marathon sessions are a little less plausible for those with kids at home. That’s why so many parents have come to embrace the quickie. But you will undoubtedly have the occasional nights to yourself. And when that happens, it’s time to go slow. It’s not exactly news that it takes men less time than women to reach orgasm during sex. And unlike eating a stack of Pringles Crisps, once you pop, you probably have to stop. After ejaculation, men go through a refractory period where…
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Marriage Advice for Newlyweds That Every Couple Should Read
A good marriage doesn’t just happen. Experts, real-life newlyweds, and seasoned married couples share 10 surprising secrets to create a loving, lifelong bond. Live in a ‘Couple Bubble’ “A Couple Bubble is your relationship’s safety and security system,” advises Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, a couple therapist known for his pioneering work in helping partners form happy, secure, and long-lasting relationships. Think of it as a cocoon—created by a couple’s values and promises to each other—that protects the relationship from outside forces. The Couple Bubble is guided by affirmations such as “Our relationship is more important than my need to be right,” and “You’ll be the first to hear about important…
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12 Tiny Ways to Make Your Spouse Feel Loved
Compliment Them Tell them that you think he looks hot, smells yummy, or whatever the case may be. And do so in the moment. Rave about his old T-shirt after he puts it on Saturday morning. As you hug, tell them that you think they smells sexy. Remark that their rear looks good in that pair of jeans they’re wearing around the house Sunday afternoon. “You serve as your beloved’s best mirror,” says Jim Walkup, Doctorate of Ministry, a licensed marriage counselor who practices in New York City and White Plains, New York. “Where else will they find a sense of someone appreciating their essence and lifting it up?” Plus, by verbalizing…
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Warning: If Your Partner Is Asking You to Do These 10 Things, There’s a BIG Problem
Demand you make a major life change Making comments about the haircut they prefer on you or wishing you’d spend less on comic book memorabilia is one thing, but if your partner is asking you to change major things—your career, your religion, your studies, or other things you consider core parts of your personality—that’s a serious red flag, says Fran Walfish, PhD, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author of The Self-Aware Parent, and co-star of Sex Box on WE tv. “An important part of being in a successful relationship is to give up trying to control other people, especially your spouse or partner,” she says. Instead of trying to…
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15 Signs Your Relationship Is Solid as a Rock
It sounds like a no-brainer, but happy couples really, really like each other. “There should be an awareness that this is your best friend, the person you like, love, and with whom you want to share your life,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. “In a good, solid relationship both people encourage and bring out the best in each other.” You respect each other Without mutual respect, you can’t have trust, honesty, friendship, or intimacy. “Mutual respect is one of the core relationship partner needs, and it’s something that is often looked over in the dating process,” says…
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This Is What The Wedding Night Is Actually Like, According To Couples
For many newlyweds, the wedding night isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The expectation is a glamorous evening full of endless champagne and awesome sex (hey, it’s possible!). The reality usually involves scarfing down some fast food and then passing out soon after. We asked HuffPost readers how they actually spent their first night as a married couple. See what they had to say below: 1. “I laid on the floor of the living room with my wife and two of my bridesmaids eating Taco Bell tortilla chips before finally going to bed, getting up to puke from having so much to drink at the reception, coming back to bed and…
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There’s Only One Sign A Couple Should Go To Therapy
In a relationship? If the answer is “yes,” it’s time to consider couples therapy. Counseling may seem like a waste of effort when things are going smoothly, but therapists around the country say it’s always a good time to stop in; you don’t need a huge problem to be the catalyst. (A strong case can even be made for going to a marriage therapist on your own, believe it or not.) Below, therapists share six reasons why therapy works wonders for even the healthiest, happy couples. Therapy keeps you healthier as a couple, physically and mentally. “Maintenance of a happy, deeply connected relationship is just as important for your health as a…
