There is nothing more painful than watching your marriage disintegrate before your eyes. It hurts. In fact, it may be amongst the most painful experiences you will have in your lifetime.
During our many radio and television interviews over the years, we are often asked this simple question, “How will I know if my marriage is in trouble?”
Our research with couples around the world has identified the 7 warning signs that your spell trouble for your marriage:
1. One or both of you show increasing disrespect for each other.
In failing marriages, there are growing signs of disrespect. Resentment and contempt have replaced patience and love. You go out of your way to avoid being together.
And sadly, you are happier away from your spouse than when you are with them. Having fun with your mate seems to be a thing of the past. When mutual respect and understanding fail, your marriage is well on the way to its end. Make no mistake about that.
2. You fight and argue much more often than before and do so unfairly.
Fact is, you have nothing nice to say to or about each other anymore. You love to nitpick at each other. Your teasing isn’t fun, it is now painful and hurtful. You use each other as personal pincushions!
Sadly, your arguments are repeatedly about the same subjects. You are increasingly critical of each other, you fight constantly, and you no longer fight fair. As we have said many times before, it’s okay to argue — all successfully married couples do.
But the truth is this, successfully married couples have learned how to fight fair. Their arguments do not become personal and attack oriented.
3. You and your spouse are no longer capable of communicating with each other in meaningful and productive ways.
Communication between a husband and a wife is of paramount importance to the health of a successful marital relationship. Failing marriages communicate less and less. There are fewer and fewer meaningful exchanges between the two people who occupy the marriage bond.
Worse yet, they don’t talk with each other about their mutual problems anymore. Frankly, failing marriages lose the ability and the willingness to resolve their marital problems. They just don’t care anymore.
When communication between a husband and wife shuts down, there is little hope for the marriage. Always remember this, no problem was ever resolved, no divide ever bridged, and no disagreement ever broached when people refused to communicate.
When communication falters, a marriage is in trouble.
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