Marriage Bliss

— Imagine you wake up one morning and your computer has switched from a PC to a Mac, and the keyboard is suddenly Dvorak. Now picture trying to play Counterstrike with that while your hands are cuffed together and your head’s in a bucket of Jell-O. Now, maybe you can see how change messes with Alzheimer’s patients. –Kevin Ducharme Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you were there? You probably have. Most of us have at one time or another. But what if, instead of this happening every once in a while, it a couple of times a day? Then, several times a day. Maybe it starts with…

We all need something to snap out of it and make sense of this mysterious, wonderful, and never-ending journey called life. By Vernon Foster II Leave a Comment Not too long ago, I was working in the nightlife industry. In an environment fueled by alcohol and drugs, I was steadily losing control of myself due to destructive behaviors. Deep down, I started to notice that something wasn’t feeling right. The Message One afternoon while sitting in front of my computer, an invite to a friend’s yoga class showed up in my inbox. I thought to myself “Why not”? I knew something had to change. I agreed and set aside my…

By Zadie Smith 464 pages; Penguin Books Zadie Smith’s very loose retelling of E.M. Forster’s Howards End centers on the fraying union between Kiki and Howard, an interracial couple whose marriage is gravely wounded due to Howard’s affair with a colleague at the university where he teaches. As well as being a complicated portrait of infidelity—Howard loves Kiki deeply, despite his failure as a husband—it’s also a book about beauty itself. In Kiki and Howard’s case, it’s about the loss of it and what it means to grow old together, to find (or not find) a deepening beauty in your partner’s journey through middle age, their gradual imprisonment in an…

In this day and age, many fall into the trap of defining their self-worth by 401(k) plans and followers on social media—and you could be one of them. But science just offered the perfect reminder that the most important things in life aren’t exactly material. A 75-year Harvard study analyzed the physical and mental health of two groups of participants, including 456 low-income men in Boston from 1939 to 2014 and 268 male graduates from Harvard’s classes from 1939 to 1944. The researchers spent decades evaluating blood samples, brain scans, self-reported surveys, and personal interactions to determine what made these men feel the most fulfilled. Their results couldn’t be clearer. “Good relationships keep us happier and…

We all know how important our parents and our spouses are. As for our kids, we’d die for them. But there’s one bond we underrate, says Jeffrey Kluger, author of The Sibling Effect (Riverhead Books). “From the time we’re born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and our cautionary tales,” writes Kluger, a Time senior editor, and one of four brothers. We asked: Why do we take our siblings for granted? They are seen as early-life companions whom we lose interest in over time, but we actually imprint very early on the people closest to us. Of course, that involves your parents, but siblings…

Are you feeling stressed? Lonely? Bummed-out? Social scientists may have found a miracle cure. It only takes five minutes to test, and you can probably try it right now: Call your mom. In the science of relationships, there are few magics as potent as a mother’s love. Researchers have long known that, for example, a child who hugs their mother will soon be flooded with the feel-good hormone oxytocin, a crucial ingredient in parent-child bonding, stress relief, and building trust. You can probably think of a time in your life right now when a little motherly love changed your mood right around. (Here’s the best advice we ever heard from…

I’ve become selfish since I lost my hubby. Well, maybe un-empathetic is a better word. You’re having a bad day at work? At least your hubby didn’t die. You can’t find a sitter so you have to cancel plans for the concert you’ve waited for all summer? Say thank God your husband isn’t dead. Did you get into a fight with your man? At least he’s alive. “Suck it up, buttercup,” continued to be my mantra for everyone’s problems. In the grand scheme of life, their issues didn’t seem that significant. Those feelings intensified when I started an online support group for the widowed community. It was like a non-ending…

Like ballroom dancers, introverts perform best in pairs iStock/ArthurHidden Introverts thrive in one-on-one situations and get overwhelmed when in groups, so it turns out they may actually have a bit of an advantage on dates over extroverts. So remind yourself of your natural strength beforehand, and let it give you a little burst of confidence. Check out these other hidden strengths of introverts. Make sure your plans work with your personality iStock/Gelner Tivadar Be true to your nature when deciding what to do for your date. Introvert-friendly activities include coffee or drinks at a cafe or bar; a movie followed by a low-key dinner; a trip to a museum, park,…

Keep an open mind istock/Martin Dimitrov When it comes to flirting and mingling, your goal should not be to walk into a room, identify someone who seems like your type, and funnel all of your energy into catching that one person’s attention. In fact, it should be quite the opposite. “When you’re too target specific, you close yourself off to so much,” says Kimberly Seltzer, a therapist, dating, and makeover expert at Elite Image Makeovers. Instead, focus on chatting with a few people—no matter who they are—and build a hub of positive energy from there. The more people in your own social network, the more you’ll be able to branch…

Don’t say: Ex Emma Kapotes/Rd.com Nobody needs to hear about your ex on the very first date. If the two of you make it past the night, you’ll have plenty of time to delve into your romantic pasts. And if you do find yourself fighting the urge to bring up your ex, it’s worth asking yourself—later—what’s going on. Is it because you want to talk about what you don’t want in a relationship? Or do you want to show your date how much you’ve moved on? Or is it to reassure your date that he/she is so much better than your ex? Going on a date isn’t only about getting to…