Marriage Bliss

There’s nothing new about Wabi-sabi — it dates from the 12th century. And it’s not surprising that Leonard Koren has been Wabi-sabi’s representative in the West. Educated as an architect, he founded Wet: The Magazine of Gourmet Bathing, which was wildly ahead-of-its-time. As was his next incarnation: In 1992, while living in Japan, I embarked on a project to locate and define the kind of beauty that I felt most deeply attracted to. By “beauty” I meant that complex of exciting, pleasurable sensations ostensibly emanating from things — objects, environments, and even ideas — that make us feel more alive and connected to the world; that urgent feeling we equate with…

The lack of negotiation during the offer stage makes narrowing the gap even harder, considering pay raises are based on a percentage of starting salaries. The lack of negotiation during the offer stage makes narrowing the gap even harder, considering pay raises are based on a percentage of starting salaries. I always encourage my candidates to be as transparent as possible when discussing their target salary goals and I’ve noticed for women this is harder. But this is the most opportune time to garner an increase and what’s more, the change won’t likely come again until one makes a career move. Men, encourage your women to hone their negotiation skills,…

After many years of real life research, scientific study, and pop culture I devised a 10 step plan to live healthy, happy, and fit. When I went back over my grand plan, I realized one glaring hole: laughter. What would life be without those crazy times when you laughed to the point of tears or when you laughed so hard your cheeks hurt? I remember my brother laughing so much he would loose his breath and we would have to try to make sure he didn’t suffocate. That seems a bit crazy now, but that laughter goes a long way. The benefits of a good laugh: Laughter relaxes you. It’s…

— “I’m in.” During the past 10 years, those words never fail to bring a smile when I read them in an email from one of the members of a low-stakes poker group I belong to. I started the group because I decided it was something that was lacking in my life. My efforts have since been rewarded with a great group of guys whose friendship has extended way beyond our fun-filled, raucous, once-a-month get-togethers, including several annual events that include our wives. I started off by asking guys to join that fall on the sidelines of sporting events my kids were involved in, at high school band concerts and…

No matter how optimistic or positive a person you claim to be, there will always be days where some external circumstance comes along and steamrolls over you and flattens you out, making you feel like you’ve just had your teeth kicked in only further adding insult to injury after you already feel life’s knocked you down. It’s these challenging days in particular where it suddenly becomes far to easy to lash out, blame and hopelessly dismiss other people or things as the sole reason for why circumstances turned out the way they did and why you now feel the way you do because of them, and if you can you…

My Husband Had An Affair: “After finding his love letter to another woman, I made him leave” thonephoto/ShutterstockSandra Barrett* had what she considered to be not just a good marriage but a great one. She and her husband, Bill, laughed together every day and had two kids they doted on. Bill shared the chores and childrearing, planned trips for the family and often wrote her poetry. After 17 years of marriage, they still had sex regularly. But earlier last year, things suddenly changed. Her formerly attentive husband started going on more business trips and, when home, was becoming emotionally distant and spending more time texting. She suspected he was having…

— A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to. — Rosalynn Carter In the business world, people call it leadership. They talk about being innovators. Forward thinkers. Doers. Why, then, when I introduce the idea that one partner can be the front-runner for change in a marriage, do people tell me, “No way. That can’t possibly work”? The party line about marriage—what many therapists think and most books espouse—is that it takes two. Marriage is a two-way street, people say. A fifty-fifty proposition. Successful couples are those who are willing to meet each other…

When you’re working hard and doing all you can to achieve your goals, anything that can give you an edge is powerful and will streamline your path to success. Mind tricks won’t make you a Jedi, but using the brain’s natural quirks to your advantage can have a positive impact on everyone you encounter. As soon as you become aware of these 11 tricks, they start popping up wherever you look. With minimal effort on your part, their unconscious influence on behavior can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life. 1. When a group of people laughs, each member of the group can’t help but make eye contact with…