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Pen To Paper
PAST In fourth grade, I was the kid that liked doing book reports. I went on to be the boy in high school that edited the school newspaper and wrote short fiction in between classes and past my bedtime. Later, I became a college student that kept spiraling-bound journals. It’s in my blood, writing, and putting pen to paper was the gateway. Once I learned the skill, honoring the language and its rules aligned nicely. If this were going to be my trade, I had better master it. PRESENT Someone once asked my mother, “Why is your son getting a Masters in writing? Don’t they like, to learn that in…
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How Will Your Kids Define Your Legacy
Your legacy has nothing to do with you currently, no, your legacy is WAY after you have gone. Your kids are the ones who write it. Tommy Maloney My friend Jeff and I had a recent conversation about our legacy. We both spoke about leaving more than just money to our kids. The ability to set the example of being a good person in front of your kid and then mirroring that to others is an example of leaving a legacy. Then lately the word legacy kept entering my mind about what am I showing or leaving not just for my son Connor but my two bonus daughters. Let me…
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What No One Teaches You About Love (but Should)
Fear of intimacy isn’t a character flaw rendering us unfit for intimacy; it is part of being human. If we’re breathing, we have fear of intimacy. The real question is: How do we keep love at arm’s length, and what can we do to change that? Addressing this two-part question is perhaps the most direct path to greater happiness. The Harvard Grant Study provides an extraordinary vantage point from which to explore these issues. This study is one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies of human development ever undertaken. Although limited in its participant pool (all of its subjects are male Harvard graduates) its findings are stunning in their clarity and simplicity. George Vaillant, director…
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Widower Pens Emotonal Response to Blog Follower
— Up until this very moment, I had only admitted this to a few close friends, but the truth is the last month or so I have been occasionally frustrated with my blog page. I pour so much of my heart and soul into it, exposing my deepest thoughts, fears, and emotions. I get frustrated because I feel like I have such a story to tell, such a journey to share—and yet, my platform isn’t big enough. I want to grab a bullhorn and shout it from the top of a tower. Everything I have learned about love, loss, grief, and that undying hope for a better tomorrow. Something funny…
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5 Tips to Stay Active as You Age
With advances in medical technology, trends toward healthy eating, and personal responsibility for health care, staying active as you age is a key component to maximizing one’s health span. Melissa Drake Living a long and vibrant life seems to be top of mind these days. With advances in medical technology, trends toward healthy eating, and personal responsibility for health care, staying active as you age is a key component to maximizing one’s health span (the length of time one can sustain optimum health). Following are 5 tips for staying active as you age: Stay Connected—Maintain contacts with friends, family, and former business associates if you’re retired. Also, don’t forget to…
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The Most Important Thing You Can Do Before Getting Married
As adapted from Vikki Ziegler’s upcoming book, “The Pre-Marital Planner (to stay happily married).” Congratulations! If you are reading this, you have obviously just made one of the most important decisions you could make – to share your life with the partner you love. You are probably feeling elated, maybe even a little woozy with excitement. And you should! After all, you have big plans – a wedding, a honeymoon, and maybe even a new home. However, marriage involves a lot more than a big send-off, some new stuff, and being called Mr. or Mrs. Getting married means assuming a lot of added responsibility. Not only are you supposed to…
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Husband Finds Out Wife Is A Kidney Match In A Pack Of Baseball Cards
One loving wife is going to bat for her sick husband. On July 6, Heather Winfree surprised her husband Steve ― a baseball fan who was diagnosed with kidney disease 14 years ago and is in need of a transplant ― with the news that she is a donor match. And she did so in the most creative way: with a custom baseball card. The Knoxville, Tennessee couple, who has been married five years, shares a love of baseball cards. They often buy packs as a way to relieve some of the stress of Steve’s illness. Courtesy of the couple Steve is constantly in pain as a result of his…
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As A Widow, I Know I’m Capable Of Loving Two Men
When a mother who has lost a child has another baby, few dare question if she’s capable of loving another child. No one wonders if her heart is big enough to love her “angel” baby while simultaneously loving the smiling toddler at her side. When she shares photos on social media of their special time together, there aren’t comments saying she must be “over” the death of her first child. That’s the way it should be. And, widows everywhere deserve that same level of respect when it comes to our spouses and our decisions to date post-loss. If you can love more than one child, two parents, five aunts, nine…
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A Simple Question That Will Change Your Search for Love
Most dating advice focuses on the skills of seeking, not the skills of loving. Apps, events, and websites offer endless opportunities for meeting, but until we learn how to choose healthy intimacy and nurture its tender new shoots, it’s unlikely we’ll find the love we seek. When we approach our search for love as an intimacy journey, not as a race against time or a search for a needle in a haystack, everything changes. As I describe in my upcoming book Deeper Dating, I spent decades in search of a relationship, clocking incalculable hours looking for love in places that lacked love, using methods that had little to do with love. Play it cool. Act witty. Conceal all…
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Love as the Defining Principle of ‘Family’
On July 4, my good neighbors invited me to join them, their closest family, and friends for their annual backyard cook out, which I gladly accepted. I’ve admired these neighbors since I first moved directly next door over four years ago. Their two daughters and son, and their grandchildren love coming over to see them on nearly a daily basis where good times and tasty food rule their days. I feel a certain envy that most of my beloved family members live so far from me. Though my neighbors and I share divergent backgrounds, we read from virtually the same page politically. And as has become the case, especially at…