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Love Will Keep You Young
My grandfather was a piano tuner, so all of his kids got piano lessons from infancy. By 4 years old, my dad was playing Mozart’s scales in the dark. He gave his first concert at 6 and composed his first piece of music at 8. By the time he was 16, he was being scouted for professional gigs, but my grandparents insisted he finishes his education. Two months out of high school, he signed on with Louis Armstrong and never looked back, despite the fact he wasn’t allowed to eat in or sleep at most of the establishments he played, thanks to segregation. Over the course of 60 years, he…
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Three Mindfulness Exercises to Improve Your Dating Life
The search for a loving partner is one of our great life tasks. Yet most dating advice is gratingly superficial, focusing endlessly upon the power of seduction and tight glutes. Here are three exercises that approach dating as an adventure of self-discovery. They are eye-opening and fun, and they will help you grow in self-respect while opening up new possibilities in your dating life. At a time when I had become particularly sick of my failure-ridden dating life, I began to ask friends for tips and help. I was finally concluding that I would always remain miserably unsuccessful in the finer skills of seduction. It was time to stop trying…
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3 Ways Healthy Fathers Can Dissolve Family Conflict—and Find ‘Calm’ Together
When James pulled in the drive from work his mind was on a cold beer, turning off his brain, and watching sports. His wife and kids could wait. Once he’d chilled, he’d figure out how to negotiate with his wife and kids. Coming up the walk, he hears the sound of angry yelling between the kids and their mom. He wanted to turn around and leave. He was feeling overwhelmed. For most men, the response of withdrawing into themselves or becoming aggressive is a habit they learned in their childhood family conflicts. Men are learning to help their families’ tough emotions as he learns how to handle their own. As…
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What to Do When You Don’t Feel Love for Your Child
You made the decision to adopt and joyfully welcomed a child into your home. But now you find yourself struggling to feel the same love for them that you do for your biological children. You wonder, “Will I ever love them the same?” Tears spilled over the bottom of Maria’s eyes like a breached dam. As they streamed down her cheeks, she sniffled. Through broken words, she admitted something she had not been able to vocalize until that point: “I don’t feel love for my adopted son, the way I do for my biological kids! I wish I did… but I don’t.” She had been pushed. And pushed, and pushed, and…
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How to Pursue a Dream While in a Relationship
“Does a relationship squash your motivation?” “Can you simultaneously feast on immense career success, while enjoying great personal success in your relationships as well?” These are pressing questions for a lot of entrepreneurs and people chasing dreams. So many entrepreneurs whose sole focus is chasing a big personal dream may be afraid of getting into relationships because they think it will distract them, and make them weak and unmotivated. Ultimately, they might feel they won’t have enough of themselves to give to a romantic relationship. They’re afraid a relationship will take them off their course, their competitors will out-hustle them, they won’t achieve their goals, and they’ll end up resenting…
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Here’s Why the Little Things Matter
Don’t let the daily stress of life keep you from showing your spouse some affection. By Evie Shafner When we are in the romantic beginnings of a relationship when we are enchanted with our partner when we are hoping and praying they will become our person in the world — so much of our focus is on letting our partner know they are the ongoing object of our affection. We look at them with love in our eyes, heap words of love and appreciation, and send loving texts — you know that phase. But once we are secure in our relationship, the commitment solidified, and we start behaving more like “normal” people. We are grabbed by all…
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The Art of Self-Discipline
To bear and not to own; to act and not lay claim; to do the work and let it go: for just letting it go is what makes it stay. ―Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching A few years ago, I came to a crossroads. I was slacking a bit with my studies, though I thought I was doing just fine. I was very dedicated, though I also got easily distracted. You could say I was taking my studies for granted. It was time to take my Oral Exam. It was July 2013. I took the train to Brown University in Rhode Island. I left in the middle of the night…
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Common Qualities of People Who are in Happy and Successful Relationships
Here are some familiar feelings that folks in happy human relationships experience every day. Amaan Singh In a world where deceptions are more prevalent than any other feelings, having a partner who’s as deeply in love with you as you are with them, is nothing at all less than a blessing. Getting a loving partner forever means that you will lead a happy life always, and realizing that is a huge stress reliever. We don’t imply that happy couples do not really know what the term argument or misunderstandings signifies, in reality, they too dispute on a regular basis, but they do not extend the fights. So, here will be…
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The 4 Keys to Learning Anything
I’ve been studying how to learn, as I try to teach myself new skills…and absolutely love learning new things. But I keep running up against a few key problems: 1. Becoming overwhelmed. The more you learn, the more you see there is to learn. The beginner doesn’t know how much there is to study, but as you start to explore, you find new caverns, and they are immense. Then as you explore those caverns, you find even bigger ones. It can become overwhelming, and lots of people eventually give up because of this feeling. 2. Failure feels bad. If you want to learn to play chess, you’ll lose a lot…
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How to Hack Negativity
Do you know people who live underneath a black cloud? These are the type of people who constantly complain, or are worried that something has or will go wrong. This incessant worrying regardless of the subject creates this negative energy that follows them like a black cloud. You listen to these people for a little bit, but after a while, you start to tune them out. Until, finally, you can’t take it any longer, and you look at them and say, “this is just an ordinary day, and you act like the world is unraveling.” The antidote to this negativity is gratitude. The Price of Negativity The problem with those…