There are many reasons as to why I had a child later in life than most of my friends did. A lot of it had to do with loving my solitude, independence, and freedom. I have always loved children — of that there is no doubt. But I knew that once I did have a child of my own, there would be no going back. I knew that I would give a child all of me — and that thought was terrifying. Once I did finally have my daughter, I did lose all of those things I feared I would and then some. It was terrifying. I lost my body.…

I’m there at your side, I’m part of all the things you are But you’ve got a part of someone else You’ve got to find your shining star And where are you now, now that I need you? Tears on my pillow wherever you go I’ll cry me a river that leads to your ocean You never see me fall apart In the words of a broken heart It’s just the emotion that’s taken me over Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul But if you don’t come back Come home to me, darling You know that there’ll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight Nobody…

I held her tight and breathed. She smelled just like I remembered. “I’m here alone,” I said. I stood on the dance floor with my ex-girlfriend from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in years—not since I came out. My twin brother married that weekend, and by chance, she attended with one of his college friends. We were chatting during the reception when she asked if I was there on a date. I paused before answering. Drunk young men and women danced around us. Then I told what we convince ourselves is the most innocent lie, the one of omission. It’s true, I was there alone. What I left…

Money Expenses are the most common cause of squabbles among couples, according to research. Which is no surprise, especially considering the fact that so many more people are living—and fusing their incomes—with their significant others today than ever before. “We all come from different financial backgrounds,” says Nikki Martinez, PsyD, psychologist and clinical professional counselor. “We may have had money, we may have always struggled, but with either situation, people have very strong ideals about how finances are managed.” To squash salary and spending scuffles, she suggests discussing how you each handle money and deciding who will take care of what expenses and how mutual funds will be managed. Intimacy…

— A phrase I heard years ago and have shared before has always stuck in my mind, it went something like this, “One foot in the future and one foot in the past, you’re pissing on the present.” I never really gave it much thought at the time but it makes much more sense nowadays. Now I have more to juggle regarding responsibilities and obligations. There’s more to manage and frequently much is out of my control. Learning to let the dice tumble with acceptance is a skill I work on daily. There are three places we can choose to spend our time. We can choose to focus on the…

The majority of dating advice subtly guides us away from true intimacy. With a superficial fixation on looks, games, and gimmicks, such advice sparks insecurity and encourages unkindness toward ourselves and others. But exciting research shows that there’s a wiser and more effective path to love—and it’s not about looks or games. In my new book Deeper Dating: How to Drop The Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy, I point out that one of the most central—and damaging—myths about dating is the belief that immediate physical attraction trumps all in the search for love. In 1985 evolutionary psychologist David Buss conducted an extensive study of the traits people rate as most important in finding a mate, and his finding was…

Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at. —Unknown There is a solution to everything. We have been created to be problem solvers. If there is a problem, there is always an answer. We can figure anything out. Start believing good things will occur—it is a small and simple shift that works wonders once you set it in place in your mind and habits. Looking for negative things to stop us from accomplishing our desires is based on a lack of mentality. Start thinking more prosperously. Be kind to yourself. Whatever is stopping you from doing what you want is…

Welcome to adulthood, where no one is ever in the same life stage at the same time again. Childhood is the one and only part of life we were all in the same life stage: school. The sense of camaraderie of our school days is not appreciated until we are well into adulthood, realizing how nice it was to not have to navigate friendships with everyone scattered, doing different things in different places. At least back then, we all had a similar foundation, a common ground, from which we could to relate to our peers. Once we are out of high school, though, and in some cases – even sooner…