How important is sex in middle age? It depends on who you talk to. During the past seven years while doing research for my book on middle age men, I’ve talked to dozens of guys about this topic. Generally, the answers given by married men were pretty consistent. It’s us, the guys, they said. It’s much lower on their wives’ priority lists, they said. “Definitely me,” said a buddy of mine. “I never turn it down.” Much to my surprise, when I talked to divorced or widowed men out on the middle age dating scene, I often got a different answer. It’s the women, they say. They said many middle…

1) She Takes Care of Her Hair We’re obviously not suggesting you get a blowout every time you’re expecting to get some. But spending some extra time on your hair really does improve your confidence in the bedroom. A recent study found that one in three women would actually cancel a date if they were having a bad hair day. Lackluster locks should never get in the way of your love life. Dr. Laura Berman, a relationship therapist, sex educator, and a spokesperson for Viviscal New Gorgeous Growth Densifying Hair Care, admits there is a biological inclination as to why women put such a priority on making sure they’re happy with their hair. “As a society, what…

Getting on the same page with your partner can be tough. From deciding on pizza toppings (still can’t get my boyfriend on board with pineapple), to getting each other’s schedules right, being in sync is not the easiest thing for even the strongest of couples. And, as you settle into a long-term relationship, it can be hard to get one very important thing on track: your sex drives. Everyone’s body is different so you can share so many things in common with your partner but still be on different pages sexually. And while you may be boning nonstop when you first get together because of your exciting new connection, that…

When I first told my husband that we were going to have only quickies for an entire month, he was pretty intrigued. We’ve been married for seven years and have 3-year-old twins, which is not exactly the recipe for hot sex, but the truth is that we actually have a pretty great sex life. And that’s mostly because for the first eight years of our now-12-year-long relationship, sex was kind of a nightmare. For years, I suffered from a condition called vulvodynia, or chronic vulvar pain, which made sex super painful and totally miserable. Eventually, that turned into an even worse disorder called vaginismus, which made sex literally impossible. It…

In July, NFL quarterback Russell Wilson said in an interview that he had not had sex with girlfriend Ciara in the three months they’d been dating. “If you can love somebody without [sex],” Wilson said, “then you can really love somebody.” The interview sparked a new conversation about abstinence: Can quitting sex be good for a relationship even if you’re not virgins? It’s one thing to swear off chocolate pudding if you’ve never had it. It’s a lot harder to try chocolate pudding and then say, “You know what? This is great, but I’m going to keep this out of my life.” Curious if abstinence could still enhance a relationship if you’ve (1) already had sex together and (2)…

You may need to put a little more work into it You can thank declines in hormone levels for the fact that you may not be ready to go at a moment’s notice. If you’re really missing desire, check out ways you can improve your sex life in just one day. “Both men and women deal with hormone changes in their 40s that can cause changes in sexual arousal, desire and general physical comfort during sexual activity,” says Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in Los Angeles. “Changes in hormones may require an increase in stimulation during sexual activity or increased focus on sensual pleasuring in order…

1. It could lower his risk of prostate cancer. According to a study from Harvard Medical School, men who ejaculated more often reduced their risk of developing prostate cancer by 22 percent. Researchers still don’t know why that is, but hey, if you needed one more reason to hit that tonight, having your guy avoid getting cancer is a pretty solid one. 2. Your chance of getting a cold goes way, way down. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that people who had sex at least twice a week released more antigens like immunoglobulin A, which helps fight off colds and the flu, so just think of how healthy you’d be if you…