8 Habits of Couples with Steamy Sex Lives

They like making their partner’s life easier

Letting go of some of your own comforts for something that will make your significant other happier (like couch shopping with your wife instead of watching another golf tournament) may improve your relationship satisfaction. A University of Toronto psychologist studied 44 couples (who had been together 11 years on average) to find which attitudes led to the best sexually satisfied couples, according to Susan Kraus Whitborne, on PsychologyToday.com. In relationships characterized by high communal strength (for example, you would be willing to give up the convenience of a relatively short commute to work if by moving a bit further away, your partner would also have a shorter distance to travel), couples reported high levels of relationship happiness. This study shows us that it’s important not to keep a relationship scorecard, especially when it comes to sex. “Be willing to give more than you receive, and it’s possible that both of you will experience sexual happiness for many years to come,” according to the blog.

They feel like a team when it comes to chores and daily life tussles

The misconception is that intimacy starts in the bedroom, and it really doesn’t, says Syrtash. “Regular communication, especially for women, is the glue for relationships.” Staying in touch throughout the day, connecting emotionally, respecting each other—even sharing the housework—all can help you both build intimacy and be more likely to be in the mood for sex. “I find that ‘working as a team’ outside the bedroom translates to what happens in the bedroom with a lot of couples,” says Syrtash.

They don’t let themselves get in a rut

It sounds obvious, but passionate couples mix it up a little, whether that’s time of day, location, position … you get the idea. A lot of couples get into ruts where first the woman does this to the man, and then he does that to her. When you can change up that script a little bit, it’s more exciting. “It doesn’t mean to be mind-blowing, chandelier-swinging sex,” says Syrtash. “It can be as simple as the woman making the first move one night, if her partner usually makes the first move.” In her TED Talk “The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship,” relationship therapist Esther Perel says that men and women have a strong need for adventure, for novelty, for mystery, for risk, for danger, for the unknown, for the unexpected. This element is one of the secrets to desire.

They put sex on their partner’s mind throughout the day

In Perel’s TED Talk, she also says that “foreplay pretty much starts at the end of the previous orgasm.” Translation: All the little things you do outside the bedroom add up to getting yourself and your partner in the mood for sex. Or be inspired by the folks in this Redbookmag.com article about couples who have a lot of sex: One woman said she wears silk underwear to feel sexier throughout the day. Another does things in the morning to get her partner lusting after her, like sexy stretches while getting dressed to get him thinking about her all day long. Then sex is inevitable that night, she said.

Pages: 1 2