20 Of The Funniest One-Liners About Marriage

  1. Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

2. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

3. How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

4. Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.

5. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

6. Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again.

7. What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

8. My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

9. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don’t like to interrupt her.

10. At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

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