5 Ways Anger Can Damage a Marriage
Uncertainty follows anger everywhere. It erodes trust and creates confusion between partners. This is when lack of control takes hold of your marriage. Remember that an angry man is a man who doesn’t understand or know his wife. Because he fears her unpredictable nature, he decides to keep rigid control to feel secure. However, this feeling of security won’t last and a wrong attitude will backfire. If you control everything, you’ll never be sure of anything. You’ll always ask yourself if your wife stays with you because she wants to, or if she’s just under your control. This will only plant more doubt and suspicion.
Living in Hostility
When people in a marriage turn every simple discussion into a disagreement, anger starts showing up a lot. The worst thing is that many angry men don’t even understand that they’re angry or they’re hostile towards their partner. Verbal or physical violence, shouting, and insults are direct consequences of anger and they can permanently damage a marriage. Sharing and mutual respect fade and they’re replaced by domination and strict control. Unless men learn to share power and agree to become more flexible with new ideas and changes, frustration and resentment will dominate their lives.
One of the foundations of marriage is communication. But effective communication it’s not possible when it starts with misperception and poor judgment. Anger does that to you. It distorts the meaning of events and it stops you from realizing its actual intensity. Because you’re constantly frustrated and angry, you may often find yourself blind to your wife’s needs. You cannot admit that somebody else’s point of view may be valid, so you shut yourself away from her. Whether you simplify events and statements, or you believe you know everything your wife’s thinking, you’re just hiding from your real emotions.
Hopelessness and Disappointment
Often, anger problems come from normal frustrations and disappointments in life. But men who are always angry don’t overcome these problems and see themselves as losers and ineffective persons. Of course, this directly affects their wives and it can definitely affect a marriage for good. Because you feel inferior, you want to strike back and the only way you know how to do it is do it aggressively. Angry men who aren’t able to adapt to frustrating situations act in harmful ways. Such behavior always leads to major confrontations and inability to face obstacles in life.
The Reality of Depression
Too much anger causes you pain. It darkens your outlook on life and it can rapidly turn into depression if not understood and controlled correctly. When you have a low opinion of yourself and you lose interest in making your marriage a successful one, the worst is bound to happen. This episode can ruin a marriage because when an angry man suffers from depression, he is even more impulsive and has even less tolerance towards his wife. This unpredictable behavior and emotional volatile moods need serious professional attention. And admitting you need help may be just the new start your marriage needs.