Deception is the Main Cause of Trust Problems in Marriage
Trust is the foundation of your marriage. It is one of those things that take very little energy to break. Trust is extremely critical as it maintains the bond in any form of a relationship. We learn that we can trust our spouse if they can keep their promises to us. As well, humans develop trust only if the words spoken are meant. So, do you mean what you say to your marriage partner? Are you a trustworthy spouse? If you are deceptive, keep in mind that your weakness could destroy trust in your marriage.
How trust issues develop
Your partner can test your honesty in a very simple manner. For instance, they can ask for something from you. If you agree to respect and honor their request, your partner will trust you with their feelings and thoughts. In case you don’t honor the agreement you had, your spouse will feel deceived and might develop minor trust issues. This may worsen if you keep on repeating the same behavior. In fact, your partner might feel so betrayed that they might have a tough time trusting you ever again. Perhaps you find it hard to honor an agreement with your spouse and other people in your life. While you may get away with breaching the trust other people have in you, your behavior might damage your relationship with her or him. The deception issue is one of those that marriage counselors and educators solve every single day. It goes to show that most people in marriages and relationships have trust issues.
Money is one of those things that cause spouses to deceive each other. A wife or husband might continually lie about having a hidden financial account, but demand the truth from their spouse. So the deceptive partner will have a savings plan hidden somewhere without letting him or her know about it. And unless that person is confronted with evidence, he or she might not admit having such a saving account. Spouses who are caught cheating also deny it over and over. Money issues, addictions, and affairs are some of the key things that marriage partners commonly lie about. The aftermath is always loss of trust.
Why he or she lies a lot
The main reason why a spouse may lie to you is simply because they have something to hide. If it is the man, he may lie because he doesn’t want his wife to know about the hidden money accounts or love affairs. He looks to protect his interests without caring about the other person’s feelings. His selfish and destructive actions might trigger serious trust issues.
Another reason is the deceiving spouse lies is because it works for them and they feel they can do it. They already know that they can get away with it because the other person loves them. As they believe they cannot get caught, they continue to lie until one lie stops working for them. If the deceived spouse keeps on enabling the habit, by failing to set a firm boundary on it, it will destroy their trust for good.
Some people lie because they feel they have a right to do it. They feel entitled to keep important information away from their partner and then justify their actions by lying. For instance, the man might keep reminding her that he is the head of the family and is responsible for money management and other things. Habitual liars may also lie because it is part of their character. If you married a liar, there is almost nothing you can do to change him or her. These kinds of life partners can be so manipulative and selfish that they will turn the tables on their spouse to look good.
So, if you have trust issues, seek professional advice before you damage your marriage.