The 12 Daily Habits of The Happiest Couples

“Lighting up when your partner walks in the room will send positive reverberations through your relationship no matter how long you’ve been together. Be happy to see your partner, whether it is first thing in the morning or when you walk through the door in the evening. Too many couples let the day wear them down and then ‘dump’ on their partner as soon as they see them. Your spouse is not your emotional garbage can. This might feel artificial at first, but try it. It will be infectious and will change the dynamic or your relationship.” —Tonya Lester, L.C.S.W., couples therapist

“We take a five to 10 minute walk together at night. It helps that we have a dog to motivate us! For us, the walk is great because we are away from our phones, computers, and work distractions, and we can talk openly about our day, our thoughts, our frustrations. Sometimes we just admire the sky together. The focused time together helps us reduce misunderstandings and stress.” —Stacy L. 

“My husband brings me coffee in bed in the morning. Since I work from home, I’ll often walk with him to work in the morning to get the day started together.”  —Chelsea J.

“My husband is really good at texting me little love messages throughout the day. We all know little things we can do that our partners would like, so couples can engage in any of these small behaviors to influence the environment in a relationship. As a therapist, I know that too often, people want to do something grandiose and then sit back and watch to see if their spouse “appreciates it,” and if they perceive that the spouse did not, they can justify not doing anything anymore. It helps more to make a list of small things your spouse would like and do those, so you aren’t keeping score all the time. Small gestures, big rewards.” —Lori Schade, Ph.D., licensed marriage and family therapist