Marriage is a unique institution with numerous challenges and lessons. If you enter marriage thinking that you will be celebrating from January to December, you will be in for a rude shock. As with other relationships, marriage is prone to disagreements and conflicts. There will be good and bad times in your relationship. If you seem to deal with endless conflicts, it may be a sign that you are no longer compatible marriage partners. And if you still love each other, it may be time to seek the intervention of a marriage counselor or educator. To know that your relationship is really bad, look for the following signs.
- Lack of sexual intimacy and affection
Sexual intercourse is one of the things that can strengthen your marriage. If you are a Christian, you know what the Holy Bible says about sex. When you have it with someone, you become one body and soul. This does help one to see the seriousness of fulfilling each other’s sexual needs in a marriage. The act itself is not the only thing you should aim at. Affection is as important as the actual intercourse. Hence, you should keep reminding your partner the reasons why you love her or him. You should also express your feelings for them by writing and talking. As well, touching is an important way to show your affection. So, don’t wait until your lover and you become roommates. Solve the underlying issue such as anger to be able feel and extend affection and intimacy to each other.
- You lead separate lives
Leading separate lives doesn’t necessarily originate from a conflict. It can happen even when a husband and wife are living normally and fulfilling their roles in the family. For instance, you and your spouse are living separate lives if you no longer go for outings together or spend private moments together. Living too independently from each other can stop you from functioning as a team. This can take away the joy of being in a relationship and can strain certain areas of your lives: parenting, management of household tasks, sharing financial responsibilities and bonding with relatives. If you no longer run as a team, you will have a hard time consulting with each other when a serious matter needs to be solved.
- Lack of communication
A relationship cannot survive for long if both parties don’t ever talk about anything. If one spouse tries to reach out only to get blocked, he or she might be tempted to keep quiet as well. Marriage is designed to be a haven where love, refuge and safety can be found. If yours has turned into a war zone, you have a lot of work to do. Otherwise, a marriage with extreme hostility, conflicts, criticism and defensiveness cannot work. If you are the one who is ever right, too rigid or judgmental, take the time to change. It is a good idea to seek anger management help to learn how to avoid arguments and extreme rage.
- Getting into bad habits and addictions
It’s not every friend you have in your life that wishes you good luck with your marriage, career or life in general. Some friends are involved in drug and alcohol addictions as a means of forgetting their own marital issues. If you aren’t careful, they might get you involved in their bad habits just so you can be equal. It’s important to avoid all forms of addictions and bad company to save your marriage.
If you keep yourself from doing the above-mentioned things, your marriage will stabilize and give you some joy.