A Question That Could Save Your Relationship
|Maybe the two of you have been fighting a lot recently, or maybe things are fine, and you are just looking for a way to make a good thing even better. In both of the cases, it is important to get one thing out of the way. That being that relationships take work. There is no magical cure.
Each relationship is completely different, and something that works for one couple will not necessarily work for another. That being said, the question that is going to be presented is not going to make your relationship work overnight. Maybe it won’t work out at all. But, the thing that makes this question special is not what it is specifically but rather what it embodies.
How can I make your day better?
It is as simple as that. How can you make your partners day better? This is the question that you should be asking them every day. But, there are a couple of guidelines that should be adhered to if you are going to give this a try. If you are going to do this, then you need to be committed to this. You have to truly want to make your relationship work if this question is going to have the desired effect on both of you.
You may be the problem
As a rule, human beings do not want to admit that they are wrong. We do not want to accept blame because it makes us vulnerable. It suggests that we are not as great as we think we are. It suggests that we have more deficiencies than we once thought. But none of us are perfect. We all have our baggage. We all have our scars, and we all play our part when a relationship starts to degrade.
If you and your partner are in a bad place and you are thinking of adopting the philosophy of asking how you can make their day better, then you need to humble yourself. You need to take a good look at yourself and admit that the two of you got to where you are because of both of your actions.
The question needs to be genuine
When you ask your partner how you can make their day better, you need to be genuine about it. You cannot ask it in the hope of manipulating your loved one or if you are trying to change the power balance. This ethos will be completely counterproductive. This is a person you love.
You should want to make their life better. You should want to have a positive impact on their day. That is why you are asking the question. You are not trying to get something out of them, rather you are trying to do something for them.
You need to be willing
If when you ask them the question, they respond with something that you can do. Then you should be willing to do it. If you are in a healthy relationship, then they will not ask you to do something that is completely unreasonable. Their task should be achievable. If it is, then you must get it done. Do not ask for the sake of asking. Ask them, with the full intention of doing what they ask you to do. Do not let them down or make them feel like they are wrong for asking you to do something.
Think about what love actually is
When you say that you love someone, think about what that means to you. Sure, love comes in different forms. But, if you love someone, then you should want what is best for them. You should want to see them happy, you should want to see them succeed and lastly, you should want to help them achieve all of this. True love is not selfish. True love strives to add to the person’s life and not to take away from it.