8 Troubling Signs Your Marriage Is Headed for Divorce

You lack respect for one another

It starts with an innocent complaint, says Doares, like: “You didn’t do the dishes.” Then it morphs to more general criticism: “You never help around the house.” Then it evolves into a personality judgment: “You’re a selfish, lazy slob.” “This doesn’t happen overnight, but it gradually chips away at the foundation of your marriage,” says Doares. If you put one another down or constantly criticize one another, you may not be a good match. “If you don’t respect the person, then you’ll have a hard time liking him or her, let alone loving him or her,” says Di Meglio. Think about whether something was said or done that made you lose respect, says Di Meglio. “Both people must be committed to earning back the respect, changing the questionable behavior and communicating better,” says Di Meglio. “If that’s not possible or too much damage has been done, the marriage won’t last.”

Your partner is a serial cheater

Some couples can recover and move on from a marital stray, even making their marriage more united after one partner cheated. “Couples can survive an isolated affair,” says Doares. However, a serial cheater who has multiple affairs likely has a problem you can’t fix. “The only way to get over a betrayal—emotional or physical—is to earn back trust by not cheating ever again,” says Di Meglio. “If this is a pattern of behavior, then you’ll never earn back the trust.” Some people just can’t be monogamous and aren’t cut out for marriage. Doares reminds people not to blame themselves. “This isn’t about you, but about your partner’s refusal to fully participate in your marriage,” she says. Read here about ways to heal your marriage after an affair.

You’re no longer intimate

We’re not saying you have to be all over one another like honeymooners. “The chemistry we feel for a spouse can ebb and flow for many reasons,” says Cathy W. Meyer, the About.com Divorce Support Expert and managing editor of divorcedmoms.com. “It’s not unusual in a marriage to go through periods where we feel a lack of desire for our spouse.” When someone is sick or you have young kids, it’s natural to be less intimate. Even as you age, you might not want to be as physical as you once were. “But if you’re no longer intimate and this is consistent, you have to ask yourselves why,” says Di Meglio. “This is an even bigger problem if one of you wants sex and the other doesn’t.” A lack of physical affection means you’re in a platonic relationship. “Couples cease to be lovers and become roommates and business partners,” says Doares. “But that’s not the reason most of us get married.”

You argue about the same things over and over

It’s common for people to argue about the same issue throughout their marriage, says Feuerman. (Here are simple ways to stop marital fights in their tracks). “This might lead to divorce if you let the arguments seriously escalate, fight dirty, shut down and refuse to talk, or excessively blame,” says Feuerman. You may need to compromise and do some give and take to put an end to the constant battles and differences. “It’s been my experience that couples get caught in a cycle of the same-old drama because they’ve lost interest in each other and the health of their relationship,” says Meyer.

Pages: 1 2