6 Side-Splitting Wedding Stories
Dress Attire Gone Bad
I was dating an actor in Los Angeles who had a lot of large circle of friends, many of them famous. I am a flight attendant with a limited budget and I would stress out about what to wear to events with him. During our four years together, I even went to such desperate measures as to buy a plastic tag gun from a store supply store so I could reattach sales tags to garments after I had worn them, and then return them. This is not something I’m proud of, but it’s something I did out of pride combined with a limited income!
My actor boyfriend got an invitation to Alice Walton’s wedding in Monterey; CA. Alice Walton is one of the richest women in the country. She is a member of the Walton Family. Does that ring any bells? How about “Wal-Mart”? Yes that’s right, the family who started the Wal-Mart chain. Not only are they one of the richest families in the country, but the wedding was on New Years Day. And the rehearsal dinner was on New Years Eve, at the most expensive hotel in a very expensive town. I was getting nervous just thinking about what to wear while my boyfriend was reading the invitation. I asked him what he would wear to the party on New Years Eve at the most expensive hotel in town. It’s so easy for men! He casually said that he would wear his tux—a beautiful expensive tuxedo that he owns. This sent my stress level through the roof! I was already tired of whole returning-clothing-spiral-of-shame, so I decided to invest in a gown. I splurged and bought this drop-dead gorgeous floor length gown with a plunging neckline and bare back.
At that point I thought I was all set: I can walk into the most expensive hotel in town with my tall dark and handsome boyfriend in his expensive tux with my head held high! Never did I dream things would turn out like they did. When we walked into the ballroom for the rehearsal dinner, my heart immediately sank.
Everyone was in jeans and t-shirts and even the bride-to-be was wearing a tracksuit! It was New Years Eve, for pete sake, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on! There we were, looking like we were ready for the Oscars, and there was everybody else, looking like they were straight out of a Gap commercial! Not only were we completely overdressed, but I was also completely over-exposed in my plunging neckline gown. I think I was hyperventilating at this point. I even went so far as to go the front desk to ask for a safety pin to try to make my dress less revealing. It turns out the Walton family are casual folks regardless how much money they have. They went out to their way to make me feel comfortable and welcome even though we stood out like a sore thumb. Numerous people explained that the wedding the next day would be just as casual so I actually wore jeans to the wedding of the wealthiest people I’d ever met! The wedding was outside overlooking the water and completely casual and low key. It was honestly the best wedding I have ever been to. They have so much money that they know it’s not about how much money you spend or how much your dress cost. It’s about friends and family and celebrating the occasion. - Betty Thesky, Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase
City Hall Wedding
We were short of cash, so we had to do the City Hall thing, so we improvised. We live a couple blocks from City Hall.
My wife and I started our own wedding march from our apartment. The neighbors saw us, and for some reason started to follow. Unfortunately, I did not plan the City Hall thing so great, and 20 of my family members basically over took City Hall. We were incredibly loud and laughing the whole time. By the time the civil worker was done marrying us, he looked at us and said, I never want to see you both in here again. with a laugh. He did so because we packed his office from wall to wall.
The neighbors that followed waited outside for us to come out. Of all the weddings in my large family, they still talk about this one and it happened almost 3 years ago on 9/20/2007. Thanks for asking! I attached a photo from inside city hall. I am the guy in the center. My wife is on my right with my nephew in front. – Steven Lowell
This article first appeared in Identity Magazine.
