How Long Do Married Couples Go Without Sex?

Last updated October 21, 2026 by the Marriage Bliss Editorial Team.

Every couple hits a dry spell eventually. Maybe it’s a new baby, a stressful job, or just weeks that blur together until you realize it’s been… a while. If you’ve ever wondered whether your marriage is “normal,” you’re far from the only one.

Here’s what surveys say about how often married couples have sex, how long dry spells usually last, and what actually helps when you’re in one.

Quick answers

How often do married couples have sex? Large U.S. surveys suggest married adults average roughly once a week, with younger couples higher and older couples lower.
How long since the last time, on average? In one survey of Americans and Europeans, people in relationships said it had been about a week. Single people said about two months.
Are dry spells normal? Yes. Almost every long-term couple goes through them. They become a problem when one or both partners are unhappy and nobody talks about it.

What the numbers say

Long-running national data such as the General Social Survey has tracked American sex lives for decades. Researchers who analyzed it found that adults were having sex less often in the 2010s than in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and that the drop was noticeable among married people. Even so, about once a week remains a typical average for married couples.

A 2017 survey by the UK online pharmacy Superdrug of about 1,500 Americans and Europeans looked specifically at dry spells. A few of its findings:

People who were married or in long-term relationships said their last time was about a week ago, on average.
Singles averaged about two months, and some respondents reported going years.
Many respondents, especially women, said they blamed themselves for dry spells or felt less attractive during them.
Relatively few people said a dry spell alone ended their relationship.
Talking openly and trying something new were among the most common ways people said they ended a dry spell.

Treat any single survey as a snapshot, not a rulebook. Averages hide a huge range, and plenty of happy couples sit well above or below them.

Why dry spells happen

Life stages: pregnancy, new babies, and toddlers are classic dry-spell territory.
Stress and exhaustion: work, money worries, and caregiving drain desire.
Health and medications: hormonal changes, chronic illness, and some medications, including certain antidepressants, can lower libido.
Unresolved conflict: it’s hard to feel close to someone you’re quietly annoyed with.
Routine: screens in bed and predictable evenings can make sex an afterthought.
Mismatched drives: when one partner wants it more, rejection can snowball into avoidance.

When is it a problem?

There’s no magic number. A couple who has sex once a month and is happy about it is doing fine. A couple who has sex twice a week but one partner feels rejected is not. The signs worth paying attention to:

One of you feels hurt, lonely, or resentful about it.
You’ve stopped touching or showing affection in general.
It’s become a topic you both avoid.

Sudden or lasting changes in desire are also worth mentioning to a doctor, since physical causes are common and often treatable.

How to end a dry spell

Talk about it without blame. Choose a relaxed moment, not right after a rejection. These tips for talking about intimate topics can help.
Start with non-sexual touch. Hugs, kissing, and cuddling with no pressure rebuild closeness. Try these tips to kiss your spouse like the first time.
Make time on purpose. Put the phones away, go to bed at the same time, or plan a date night.
Try something new. Novelty is a well-known spark. A new location, a new routine, or a weekend away can help.
Address the root cause. If it’s exhaustion, share the load. If it’s conflict, work on it. If it’s health, see a doctor.
Get help if you’re stuck. A sex therapist or couples counselor is a normal, effective option.

For more ideas, read our 7 tips for keeping married sex awesome and these tips to reawaken intimacy in your marriage. If you and your spouse want different amounts of sex, see how to handle mismatched sex drives without fighting.

The bottom line

Most married couples have sex about once a week on average, but “normal” is whatever works for both of you. Dry spells are common and usually temporary. The ones that last tend to be the ones nobody talks about, so start the conversation.

For causes and fixes, see our guide to sexless marriage.

Want more on this topic? See our guide to intimacy and sex in marriage.

Frequently asked questions