Kari, 30
“I got engaged about 16 months ago in New York City. My fiancé planned to propose on the pier where we come and go to work together in Manhattan’s Financial District. He wanted my best friends of 20-plus years to be a part of it. One of them is an amazing photographer whom he enlisted to photograph the proposal and do a small engagement shoot immediately after. The only problem was, when she jumped out of the bushes where she had been hiding with the camera covering her face, I couldn’t tell who it was. I was completely distracted from the actual proposal by this random person I didn’t know who was standing two feet away from me taking pictures of his proposal.”My completely overwhelmed mind went back and forth between excitement and dread/fear that someone was accosting us and taking pictures. As I tried to move away and ask my fiancé what was going on, he refused to answer me, which just freaked me out even more. Then, I saw two more people jump out of the bushes and come running toward us. It’s only because he was holding my hand that I didn’t bolt. Luckily, once they got close, I recognized them as my best friends and realized what was going on.
“I got engaged about 16 months ago in New York City. My fiancé planned to propose on the pier where we come and go to work together in Manhattan’s Financial District. He wanted my best friends of 20-plus years to be a part of it. One of them is an amazing photographer whom he enlisted to photograph the proposal and do a small engagement shoot immediately after. The only problem was, when she jumped out of the bushes where she had been hiding with the camera covering her face, I couldn’t tell who it was. I was completely distracted from the actual proposal by this random person I didn’t know who was standing two feet away from me taking pictures of his proposal.”My completely overwhelmed mind went back and forth between excitement and dread/fear that someone was accosting us and taking pictures. As I tried to move away and ask my fiancé what was going on, he refused to answer me, which just freaked me out even more. Then, I saw two more people jump out of the bushes and come running toward us. It’s only because he was holding my hand that I didn’t bolt. Luckily, once they got close, I recognized them as my best friends and realized what was going on.
“To this day, my fiancé thinks the reason I was crying (which I almost never do) was because of how surprised and happy I was. I don’t have the heart to tell him the tears were partially a result of the relief that came with the end of the embarrassment, fear, and dread brought on by our audience.”
Alicia, 40
“We were living in the U.K. — sort of. I had been spending a lot of time there visiting my boyfriend, but the last time I went through immigration at the airport, they gave me 30 days to leave the country. The immigration agent said he would have deported me, but he couldn’t be bothered to do the paperwork. When I asked him how I was supposed to continue my long-distance relationship without being able to visit, he told me we should just get married. When I passed the message on to my boyfriend, I saw fear in his eyes.”I was forced to move back to the States, with assurances that we would have a solution to this issue soon. In mime-like fashion, he would point to the ring finger. It felt like he was holding the carrot, and that really pissed me off.
“We were living in the U.K. — sort of. I had been spending a lot of time there visiting my boyfriend, but the last time I went through immigration at the airport, they gave me 30 days to leave the country. The immigration agent said he would have deported me, but he couldn’t be bothered to do the paperwork. When I asked him how I was supposed to continue my long-distance relationship without being able to visit, he told me we should just get married. When I passed the message on to my boyfriend, I saw fear in his eyes.”I was forced to move back to the States, with assurances that we would have a solution to this issue soon. In mime-like fashion, he would point to the ring finger. It felt like he was holding the carrot, and that really pissed me off.
“Still, he was committed in every other way. Together we made plans to spend Christmas in Boston with my family, and New Year’s Eve in New York City with my friends. After a nice family Christmas, my boyfriend and my dad were packing up the car, and I saw them exchange some serious words followed by a hug. I didn’t give much mind to it.
“We threw a massive party for New Year’s Eve in our sixth-floor walk-up in the West Village. It was wonderful — kind of like the perfect moment to get engaged. Towards midnight, my boyfriend and I had a private moment in the bathroom. I could see he was a little nervous. Oh my goodness, maybe he’s going to ask me, I thought. But no — he just gave me a big hug, and waded back into the crowd.
“The next morning, my dad called and said, ‘Happy New Year, and congratulations! I am so happy for you! You are getting married!’ I was like, ‘Yeah, sure, someday I’ll get married.’ I could hear him backpedal. Dad was like, ‘Oh no, he didn’t ask you, dammit. He told me he was going to ask you at midnight.’ Like a volcano, the lava started to rise inside me. I was furious.
“Some 10 years later, we are happily married, but it took two more excruciating months and two more failed attempts before he finally popped the question.”
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