19 Tweets That Will Make Married People Say ‘Yep, Exactly’
My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we’d probably have a few snakes.
Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it’s a dead body.
me: Ow
wife
me: Ow
wife
me: Ow
wife: The waitress said the plate was hot why the hell do you keep touching it?
Not to brag but my wife bought toothpaste because she thought it was almost empty and I squeezed out paste for two more months.
A fun thing to do at Home Depot is ride the flatbed like a scooter to get my husband back for acting up when we’re at TJMaxx.
Wife: *tells me to do the thing*
Me: You don’t have to keep reminding me. I’m not a child.
*forgets to do the thing*
Some couples sext when they’re apart. I just sent my husband a picture of a weird looking mole on my boob.
