19 People reveal the secrets to a lasting marriage
April 10, 2022/Comments Off on 19 People reveal the secrets to a lasting marriage
Be resilient.“I’ve grown up seeing the sheer resilience of my mom over the last 40 years while my dad served in the Army. Things were not always easy. I credit my mom for getting through difficult times of long separations, frequent moves (as my dad got posted from place to place), bringing up two children mostly on her own, etc. My wife is facing similar circumstances as I work abroad and she is raising our two kids back in India. So, one important factor is ‘sheer resilience’, there has to be a willingness to endure the most trying of circumstances on either side… If both partners are willing to endure, and more importantly, support each other through these trying times, the marriage will only grow stronger.”—Jay Maan
Validation is key.“Recognizing how your partner feels or validating one another is an important tool. Be open and willing to respect, acknowledge and relate to your partner’s feelings. Some research shows that invalidation is one of the strong predictors in relationship difficulty and failure. You’re not always going to agree with a partner, but putting down or belittling a partners thoughts, feelings, actions or character just contributes to further conflict and distance. We all require to be validated.”—Angela Lacalamita
Think before you speak.“The ‘think before you speak’ rule is the secret recipe for a long-lasting marriage. Have a good communication habit with your partner. Talk through your problems in the right way. Work out together how to improve things in your relationship rather than going on the defensive.”—Elarie Mashi
Please stop saying, “Let me ask my wife.”“A marriage isn’t free reign to tell each other what to do either. I hate it when I hear the ‘let me ask my wife’ or ‘I’m not allowed to’ come out of a grown man’s mouth! If you allow someone to treat you that way, YOU are the only person to blame because — and this is the most important thing I’ve learned in my 18 years of marriage — you teach others how to treat you, so if you don’t like how you’re being treated then communicate, have patience, compromise, and show respect to one another.”—Michelle Lane Markgraf, married 21 years
Commitment, commitment, commitment.“Commitment. Commitment to love unconditionally Commitment to stay no matter whatCommitment to happiness Commitment to growing the relationshipUnmarried people think strength of love is the secret.Married people realize the secret is to choose to keep loving.“—Becky Lee
Stop arguing about the same sh*t.“Consciously try to learn from each misunderstanding/fight and try not to repeat the same fight over and over again. Don’t hold a grudge and forgive quickly.”—Nikhil Okhade
It’s you two against the world.“Whenever someone would ask us who was boss I would say that I let him think he was boss, then he would look upward with his eyes as if he was the one who was letting me think I was boss. The truth was, we were partners. It was us against the world. Talk to each other all the time about everything so little things don’t become major issues. Play with your partner because you are best friends and really enjoy each others company. Never say the word divorce in a moment of anger. Tell you partner you love them, EVERY DAY.”—Barbara
