12 Reasons Married Couples Should Sleep in Separate Beds
Your honey is too hot
According to experts at the National Sleep Foundation, sleeping cool can ward off waking. The ideal sleeping temperature for your bedroom is in the 60-to-67 degrees, Fahrenheit, range, but that number doesn’t take into account the heat two bodies can give off under the covers. Some people generate so much heat during sleep, that their partner winds up soaked with sweat. If the love of your life rivals a Duraflame log with the heat output, separate beds can be an easy way to go.
Getting enough sleep will keep you both on your diets
If one, or both of you are struggling to lose a few pounds, insomnia may be one of the reasons you’re doing battle with the scale. Several studies link getting too little sleep with weight gain. Not getting your beauty rest can impact appetite hormones like ghrelin and leptin. If the two of you dream about achieving svelter forms, you may be better off dreaming in separate beds.
You’re both the Goldilocks of mattresses
You like it firm, she likes it soft—getting your mattress just right might be an impossibility. According to the Better Sleep Council, the type of mattress you sleep on has a significant impact on the quality of your sleep. Unfortunately, there’s not any one-size-fits-all, perfect mattress option. If you can’t decide on a mattress that fits the bill for both of you, the one who lost the argument is going to wake up achy, cranky, and unrested. Not so great, especially on the morning of that important presentation, or job interview. A great reason to choose separate beds, is that you get to choose separate mattresses, too. (Not to mention pillows).
One of you is a blanket bandit
If the notches on your bedpost represent the number of blankets you’ve stolen from your spouse, co-sleeping may mean shivery nights of restless sleep for him or her. While it’s true that a cool room is better for sleep quality, stealing the blankets off of your wife or husband may leave them too cold, which brings on fitful sleep, and bouts of wakefulness, as reported in Time. If you’re an unrequited blanket stealer whose only alibi is, “I was asleep,” it’s off to separate-bed jail for you.
Your fur baby was there first
The new guy may have learned to love your Pekinese, but he can’t help it if Fluffy makes him sneeze. Lots of married couples enter into their human union with a valued pet in tow. If one of you can’t stand the added bed-presence of a dog or cat, let alone the sneezing which might accompany this co-sleeping arrangement if allergies are part of the picture, your options are slim: Pet trainer or another bed.
One of you has restless leg syndrome
Also known as Willis Ekbom Disease, RLS affects around 10 percent of the population. It causes the desire for constant movement of the legs, but usually includes an early-morning grace period, when people with the disorder can get some much-needed rest. If you or your spouse is dealing with RLS, you’ll want to look into treatments that can help, like trying to maintain a regular sleep pattern, and eliminating alcohol, and cigarettes. Sleeping in separate beds will help both of you get the rest you need.
But what about, you know…sex?
Lots of married couples fear that sleeping solo will adversely affect their sex lives, but those who are already happily ensconced in their own beds typically say it ain’t so. The desire for sex represents a very different drive than the desire for sleep does. If you’re sleep-deprived, due to your partner’s habits, the last thing you’re going to want to do is have sex with them. If you’re well rested, it’s a lot easier to find the time to connect in a loving way—plus, you’ll have eliminated some of the annoyance baggage you may be carrying around. Sleeping in separate beds, or even bedrooms, can create the sexual tension that so tantalized you both back in the day. Can you just picture him getting all dressed up (in black satin PJs, or a cool suit), nabbing a bouquet of flowers, and knocking on your bedroom door for a date? What about surprising him at dawn with a cup of espresso and a cup of you? Sleep deprivation is a sex drive killer. Get a good night’s sleep in your own bed, and just watch what happens.
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