Marriage Confessional – August 16th 2017

We like to help our followers and visitors sort through their issues by discussing them on an open forum. A few ways we do this is through our Facebook page, or on our confessional page.

Here are some of the messages we’ve received this week.

Again, these are to let people know that others are going through the same issues, learn from others, and gain strength from those who have made it through difficult times in their marriage.

This first entry comes from the follower “Love and like are not always mutual”.

They want folks to know that you can make it through hard times:

Just hit our 9 year anniversary. Honestly shocked to still be married. Our 5th anniversary led us to the brink of divorce. Porn addiction and cheating have been a constant source of stress, as have financial issues and mental/chronic illness. I love my husband. We have been through periods when we don’t like each other much but I have never stopped loving him. No one knows what we have been through. Everyone thinks we have a great marriage. Sometimes I wish it was easier to get help. I would still be here. doing it without support because we can’t afford proper counseling isn’t easy. But it can be done.

The next confession comes from someone who was on the brink of divorce, plans and papers ready, then they gave it one last shot.

This comes from “Highschool Sweethearts”

We met young, married young, and then started our family young. It was like a fairy tale. By the pregnancy of child three we were in marriage counseling. It went well though and we were back on the right track. Add baby 4. Kids start school and within 6 years life has changed completely. New day job and parenting roles and it is going down hill slowly. Last summer I thought we were done. Had everything figured out for the separation. It was rough. 12 years of marriage and I hardly knew him anymore. We had nothing in common other than our love of our children. Did we marry too young? We sat down one more time and decided we were going to make this work. Committed to each other. To get to know each other again. We just had our 13th anniversary. Life is good. I’ve got my best friend back. Happiest we’ve been in 12 years. It isn’t always going to be easy, it takes time to figure out how to deal with changes along the way. But sticking to it is worth it in the end. I know there will be more rocks in the road, but I am confident we will make it through.

The next confession is someone who is desperate to change their situation. They have their mother-in-law staying with them and it’s causing issues everywhere.

This comes from “Mother won’t leave”

Back in April, my mother in law moved in with us for what should have been a couple of months. It is now August and she is still with us. I have spoken with my husband on several occasions that it is time for her to move on. We live in a small house and she sleeps on our couch. We can only be intimate if she is at work and we both happen to be home at the time. I have not said anything to her because I feel it is not my place. My stress level is out of control, my husband is not saying anything to his mom and I am ready to be the one to leave. I am not a confrontational person and have a tendency to stuff my frustrations until I meltdown. Any advise would be wonderful.

The next confession is from someone who got married too fast for all the wrong reasons. Financial, family, military, and emotional issues caused them to have a miserable 10 years of marriage, but they started new and fresh and the story takes such a great turn from there.

This comes from “Oil and Water”

Me and my husband probably married for all the wrong reasons and after only dating a short time. Within a month I was pregnant and I realized I didn’t know him as well as I thought. He was/is a goodman even then when things were terrible but did I like him NO. We were oil and water, we did not mix. I was to immature with way to many personal issues to be a good wife much less a mother. Financial issues, then our child had developmental and behavioral issues that depleted us both emotionally till many years later we learned he was on the spectrum. All this is to say our first ten years were rough including being a military family who moved constantly. My mother always said I was hard headed and would beat a dead horse. So many times we both thought of calling it quits, I loved him as much as I hated and blamed him for my miserableness in the marriage. About four yrs ago I called it quits. He deployed and while a way he just kept asking me to wait, do not divorce him. So I waited but my heart was hard, I was told to pray about it… to ask that my heart be softened to him. I honestly didn’t believe it would help but I would find myself desperate and praying that I could just forgive him and make it work if it was meant to be. Somehow I did, my heart softened his attitude changed and when he came back we made a new start. Now after a few yrs of rebuilding what was broken for so long it’s like a new relationship. I couldn’t fix the person I was or the relationship we had. We had to become new and start a new relationship, sometimes the old stuff creeps up. The insecurities etc. but honestly the man he is now I love unconditionally, he is my best friend and rock. 10 yrs ago I would have never used those words to describe him. He has seen the worst and best in me and stayed and fought for our marriage as I have for him. I do not know what the future holds but I do know that I now actually imagine a future with hope and no longer dread. Our oil and water has found a balance in our lives. There is always hope as long as both people are willing to not give up.