10 Ways To Ruin Your Marriage Right Before Bed
6. You talk about your to-do list for the next day.
“When the last thing you talk about at night is all the junk you have to sort through in the morning, it kills the restful, intimate mood of the evening. Sure, sometimes you may need to vent out the plan for the next day, but make sure your final interactions are loving and compassionate.” ― Ryan Howes, a psychologist in Pasadena, California
7. You tell your partner to sleep on the couch.
“Ever get angry at your partner and say to them ‘I don’t want you to sleep in the bed tonight. Do you have to sleep on the couch? Regardless of the argument, you want to be able to say to your partner (through words or actions) that you still love them despite your problems. This can be as simple as both going to bed in your shared bed or holding hands as you fall asleep. By taking ownership of the bed and kicking your partner out to the couch, you’re turning away and creating physical and emotional distance between both of you.” ― Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago, Illinois
9. You drink without your spouse.
“Technically, there’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine (or two) or great cocktails. But when it represents avoidance of reality, you must realize that reality includes your partner. If you’re both using, that could be a mutual exercise in bonding and stress reduction. More likely, though, it’s a mutual exercise in avoidance. If only one of you is drunk or high, that’s almost certainly an exercise in avoidance, which is a great way to ruin your marriage.” ― Zach Brittle, a therapist and founder of the online couples therapy series forBetter
10. You bring up heavy conversations in bed.
“Raising complicated discussion topics at bedtime is rarely productive and not the least bit sensual. Juggling work and parenting is chaotic and exhausting, so the urge to toss out weighty conversation topics once the kids are asleep and responsibilities are met make sense. But initiating intense discussions at bedtime is a perfect way to lose sleep and sabotage your relationship. Designate bedtime as a chance for sex, sleep, or light topics otherwise known as ‘pillow talk.’ Doing so strengthens the marriage and leaves you feeling rested, connected, and satisfied.” ― Elisabeth J. LaMotte, a psychotherapist and founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center
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