Top 3 Tips That Will Help You Reawaken Intimacy in Your Marriage

intimate couple

The way we live our days is the way we live our lives, and it can be very easy to let stress, life, and our daily schedules and habits create distance between ourselves and those we love most.

Your marriage is the central relationship of your adult life, and it is important that you find a way to maintain and develop intimacy, to be sure you have your partner by your side even when things get rough.

If you have noticed a distance developing in your marriage, all is not lost. There are many ways that you can work with your spouse to renew your relationship, become closer, and re-spark the intimacy that makes a marriage so special. The only condition for this is that you are both still committed to your relationship, and making it as satisfying as possible.


Identify your level of intimacy

To know where you’d like to go, you must first identify where you are. Once you really identify, for yourself, how you are feeling in terms of intimacy, you can work with your partner to improve where you would like to improve and see how they are feeling about your relationship.

Ask yourself: Are you feeling connected in terms of your feelings? Your sex life? Your finances? Are you making time each day to make each other feel special? Have you been expressing love? What expressions of intimacy are you missing?

It is important to understand that different people are sensitive to different expressions of love. For example, for some people to feel loved they need to hear it. Others absolutely need to have their spouse touch them and cuddle with them. Some think that love shows through behavior. They are indifferent to words. Words don’t convince them and don’t mean anything to them. To them, you calling when you said you’ll call means you love them. You stopping by a store to get them a little gift or buying a takeout with their favorite food is also a clear expression of love.

By taking the time to review your relationship, see where you are, you create the first step in fixing the things you’d like to change. Having a full and rational sense of your needs prepares you to discuss them, to analyze them, and to prepare for the work you’d like to put in for change. Try not to act out of panic until you have truly taken the time to take stock.


Embrace sensuality

When you have identified where you are, and where you would like to be, an important next step is to embrace the enjoyable and sensual parts of your relationship. Even while you and your spouse put work into your communication, and other parts of your intimate life, there are small, sensual acts you can enjoy together that will help you increase your levels of connection and intimacy.

These are the small joys in life that can be swept away in the business and stress of our daily lives. Take the time to create and enjoy good meals together; discuss your days, your schedules, your hopes and your dreams; ask your partner what they think about things, and take time to reminisce; and very importantly, be sure to take the time to kiss, embrace, and express love every day. All of these small acts help to build trust, connection and encourage the larger expressions of intimacy you are hoping to achieve.


Create an atmosphere for intimacy

Our hectic lives can get in the way of our intimate selves, and it is important that you create an atmosphere that allows your intimacy to thrive. These can be small, simple changes to your schedule: plan meals together, go to bed a little earlier to make time for conversation and sex, check in with a loving text at lunch each day. There are also simple things that can help: get your house cleaned and in order, so there are no distractions; if you’re worried about finances, or a particular issue, take time to take stock and make a plan of action, to remove the worry and anxiety from your life; if you know your partner is worried about something, offer your constant support.

If we exist in a comfortable space where we know our spouse is ready to be supportive and loving, all other intimacy flows from these efforts. Make these small changes to your daily lives, and the changes will add up to a lifetime of building intimacy and satisfaction in your marriage.