The Sexist Stigma Against Depressed Men—and How to Fight It

It’s common to experience Depression as a teenager. Heydon Hensley, Domestic Violence Advocate, says that he was in his late teens when he recalled feeling dark feelings:

“I was diagnosed (with Depression) on my 17th birthday, But I requested to talk to someone a few weeks before that, because I saw a Zoloft commercial, and I felt like the depressed rock. Basically I had a name for what I was experiencing only 2.5 years after I had quietly attempted suicide.”

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one of the reasons the men don’t speak about having Depression is that they don’t feel heard or understood. As a society, it’s imperative that this changes.

Some men feel that they cannot be open about Depression for a variety of reasons. Michael Hampton, Professor, notes that he’s concealed Depression because he doesn’t feel understood by the majority of people. He say regarding his depressed feelings:

“I hid them since most can’t feel, or appreciate what it’s like to hold inside what I do.

Hampton is certainly not alone in these feelings. Matthew, a writer based out of the UK told me over the phone that he experiences trepidation when speaking abut Depression. Matthew believes that Depression is something that both men and women experiences, and living with Depression is (above all else) something that humanizes us:

“It (Depression) is definitely seen as a fault in men. There is an idea that men have to be the strong dependable and have the ability to get through everything. You have to convince people that you can be
strong but you can also be human.”

There are men out there who do feel more comfortable speaking about Depression. The importance of a support system is crucial. For Casey Ryan, podcast host, he was able to speak to his friends about his Depression. Ryan notes:

“I was lucky enough to have two very close friends that are still close today. They listened to me and helped as much as they could.”

Ryan seems to be an aberration from the men that I interviewed. Most of the men who commented on the societal stigma of men with Depression did not feel comfortable speaking about their mental health issue.

So what is the solution to this dilemma?

Men deserve to be treated with respect with regard to living with Depression.

We must fight against the internal societal sexism surrounding this issue. Men have the right to seek help to treat Depression, whether that means seeing a therapist, using online counseling from a company like BetterHelp or Talk Space, seeing a psychiatrist to explore taking medication for Depression, there are treatment options out there. I mention online counseling in particular because many men are afraid to admit that they are living with Depression and speaking anonymously online with a counselor may feel more comfortable to them.

Whatever treatment option a man chooses, it’s important that we respect his motivation to seek help for Depression, which is a legitimate health concern.

Let’s fight against the sexism surrounding men living with Depression.

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