Finding the right marriage counselor can make a real difference. A skilled couples therapist helps you break unhealthy patterns, communicate better, and decide what’s next for your relationship. The hardest part is often knowing where to look and how to choose. Here’s how to find a marriage counselor near you or online, what to look for, and what to expect.
Where to find a marriage counselor near you
- Online therapist directories: large directories such as Psychology Today let you filter by location, insurance and specialty (search “couples” or “marriage”).
- Specialty directories: the Gottman Institute and ICEEFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) list therapists trained in well-researched couples methods.
- Your insurance: check your plan’s directory for licensed marriage and family therapists.
- Your doctor: primary care providers often have referrals.
- Your faith community: many churches and religious organizations offer counseling or referrals.
- Employee assistance programs (EAPs): many employers offer a few free counseling sessions.
Online marriage counseling
Many licensed therapists offer video sessions, which can be easier to schedule and sometimes less expensive. Look for licensed professionals (LMFT, LPC, LCSW or psychologist) and check that they’re licensed in your state.
What to look for in a marriage counselor
- Licensure: LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist) or another licensed mental health professional.
- Couples training: methods such as the Gottman Method or Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
- Experience with your issue: infidelity, communication, sex, blended families, etc.
- A good fit for both of you: each partner should feel heard and not taken sides against.
Questions to ask before your first session
- How much of your practice is couples therapy?
- What approach do you use?
- How long does therapy usually last?
- What are your fees, and do you take insurance?
- Do you offer online sessions?
What if your spouse won’t go?
Go on your own. Individual therapy can help you change your side of the pattern and decide what you want. Discernment counseling is another option when one spouse is unsure about staying.
When couples counseling isn’t the right first step
If there’s abuse, threats or violence, couples counseling can be unsafe. Start with individual support and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Helpful reading before you go: how to save your marriage, signs your marriage is in trouble, and the Gottman divorce predictors.
Frequently asked questions
Does marriage counseling work?
For many couples, yes, especially when they start before problems become entrenched and both partners participate.
How much does marriage counseling cost?
Costs vary widely by location and provider. Insurance, sliding-scale fees and employer programs can lower the cost.
How long does couples therapy take?
Some couples see progress in a handful of sessions; others work with a therapist for several months.