I DID NOT Marry The Girl Of My Dreams
And that mental checklist I had made about the perfect woman all of a sudden didn’t matter. It’s not that I threw it away. It was still tucked away in my brain somewhere, next to that memory about the time I pooped my pants when I was 12 because I didn’t want to miss a minute of Jurassic Park. And don’t get all grossed out, it was more of a shart than a full on poop. And the visuals were stunning for 1995!
So, I completely forgot about that list, we got married, had kids, and then 8 years later that list popped back up in my head. And it was at the weirdest moment.
My wife had just given birth to our third child. Things hadn’t gone as planned and she ended up giving birth naturally and quite quickly. It was probably the most stressful 30 minutes of my life. Yes, I know she had it way worse than I did, but still, I almost passed out and felt like I was in a daze immediately after it.
And then my wife was sobbing and holding our little girl on her chest, and that list came rushing back to me. And I realized what an absolute idiot I was.
Because, when I was making a list of all the amazing things the “girl of my dreams” would do, I had no idea what really would constitute happiness once I was married.
First off, let me get this off my chest. My wife and I don’t have sex every day. Hell, we’re sometimes lucky to get it on once per week. But when we do, we take our time, it’s awesome, and we both have a hell of a lot of fun. And guess what, it doesn’t leave me longing for more. I don’t stare out rainy windows and wish that my wife’s lobido was the size of the Titanic. It’s perfect for who she and I are. And that’s what’s important.
Also, if you’ve seen what childbirth can do to a woman’s body, you’d understand that holding them to ridiculous social standards of beauty is asinine. I take pride that I’m the same weight as I was in high school and that I still have a pretty good physique. But if I had done anything close to what my wife had in giving birth to our children and being pregnant, I know I would look drastically different. And I know that the sacrifice she made for our kids is a painful one for her.
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