How Flirting with a Stranger Improved me and my Marriage

I suppose it takes a crazy, slightly delusional sort of courage for a man to ask a married woman to go out for a drink.
Or maybe it’s just ignorance?

I can’t seem to recall a single event in my past where a man asked me out for a drink… but apparently, I finally had my lucky day.

My husband had been helping me tweak Facebook Ads for my business over a coffee at our local Starbucks. He left around noon to go see his bodywork clients and shortly after the coffee shop got increasingly busy with lunchtime traffic.

I was still sitting at the four-top table and noticed a man scanning the room for a seat… which was not to be found.
Without a second thought, I offered him a seat at the table and went about my work.

He busied himself at his own computer, an entrepreneur friend of mine came in and we chatted about how my online sexual empowerment coaching program was going and what milestones our kiddos were hitting these days and I chipped away at the workshop I was creating. All quite uneventful.

He struck up the conversation with, “Could I ask you a question? You’re married, right?”

He then asked me for my thoughts about a business matter he was in town for and being the nice, Midwestern, innocent and quite a confident woman I am, I simply engaged in conversation. I like people. I like talking. I’m fueled by interesting dialogue.

Soon we were chatting about our respective businesses and he had asked to see my website –he hadn’t crossed paths with many sexual empowerment coaches and didn’t entirely understand my work. Something seemed to click when he realized I wasn’t instructing people in how to have sex, but that I actually help women become more confident in who they are in every area of their life, romantic relationships, and life purpose.

In hindsight, I still can’t nail the moment things shifted because I was simply me the whole time. I never started “flirting” or intended to do anything other than engaging with another human being. When I felt the energy of the conversation go from friendly chat to – Oh… he’s going somewhere with this was right about the time he asked, “Maybe this is crazy to ask, but could I take you out for a drink?”

I literally thought, “Um…. what? We’re already out, we are at Starbucks, why would I need to go somewhere else to talk to you more!” Yes, have your chuckles, this is exactly the way my mind works. I am straight forward, no nonsense, and secure in myself. I am not looking for validation or attention to flatter me. I couldn’t even fathom why he wanted to have a drink with me. I was married before I was of drinking age, is that why I’d never experienced this before, I wondered.

I declined – were you wondering? – and packed up my things to get back home and relieve my babysitter. As I walked out of Starbucks I realized that even though he was from out of town and we would probably never run into each other again, he had enough information to get in contact with me again…shoot.

By that evening, or was it the next day? He had emailed and Facebook messaged me.

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