Having The Second Wedding

Although a second wedding will be important, it is often not the big occasion the first one was. You will be older and more concerned about what you want rather than trying to impress. You may have to cut back on what you had last time, but it can still be a great wedding day.


  • Have the reception you want – it can be fun or fancy – it is still your day. If you can afford it, have it all your way.
  • Wear white if you want to. You may not want the big frilly dress but a nice white suit or summer dress will look great. If anyone comments then that is their problem.
  • Have bridesmaids – they don’t have to be the same as the first time, but if you are still good friends why not? If there are children, it will be a good way to make them part of it.
  • Tell people what you would like if they offer to buy a gift, but by now you may not be able to find anything you want. Suggest a charity or an event instead.
  • Find a role for the children even if it is not as bridesmaids/best man. They will find it exciting and if they are likely to cause a fuss, accept it and let them know they don’t have to attend if it upsets them.

There is one thing that could come under do and don’t. That is inviting exes to the wedding. This will be different for different couples. If you both feel comfortable with exes being there then that’s fine, but if it is likely to cause issues between you and the new partner, then leave them out. You may be friends still, but there is a reason why you are not as close as you once where.

You don’t want to start this new wedding off on a bad foot.


  • Expect parents to contribute as much again. They may want to and can afford to but if they have done it once they have played their part. You can cut back if money is tight all round.
  • Provide the same size present list as the first time around. Not everyone wants to get in a routine of buying expensive presents and some may have their own families and homes to run so can’t afford it.
  • Assume you can get married in your church. Some may allow it but others may not agree to host the ceremony.
  • Make it seem like the event of the century. Family and friends will be pleased for you, but won’t want to spend a couple of years living the planning even if they did for the first one.

It may have been said that the best day of your life was your first wedding, but that does not mean that this one has to pass with little acknowledgement. Make nice vows, ask for short and sweet speeches, and ensure that you tell everyone to have fun.