Fighting Also Helps Avoid Resentment. Skirting issues that need to be addressed is a key indicator of passive-aggressive behavior, which often leads to boiling resentment. By regularly arguing, you avoid feeling resentful because of bottled up problems.
Psychologists Did Notice That There Is A Difference Between “Good Fighting” And “Bad Fighting.” Good fighting results in constructive actions, no resentment, and a healthier outlook on life. Bad fighting is often abusive in nature and results in one partner giving control to the other just so that the arguing will stop. Unlike with “good” fights, “bad” fights will often lead to resentment.
Obviously, Fighting Can Get Ugly. The study shows that having too many “bad” fights tends to cause breakups, despite the overall trend of frequent arguments having an overall good effect on relationship.
But… If done correctly, arguing can save your relationship and even make it more interesting.
Psychologists Say That There Are Several Rules To Fighting Fair. The biggest rule, of course, is to focus on just the topic at hand. Bringing up the past doesn’t help anyone.
Respect Is Key. Once you stop keeping things respectful, most arguments veer into the “bad fighting” territory.
If You Were Wrong, Apologize. It doesn’t make you weaker if you apologize. Rather, it’s a matter of respect.
Don’t Bring In Third Parties. A good way to make your partner feel disrespected and isolated is to bring in others to the argument. Similarly, psychologists strongly advise against comparing your spouse to someone else.
Lastly, Don’t Hit Below The Belt. There are certain things you just should never say or do to a spouse. If you cross one of those lines, don’t be shocked if you can’t repair the damage you’ve done.
Do You Believe That Fighting Can Help Couples Work Out? If so, tell us in the comments below.
This article originally appeared in Rebel Circus.
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