19 People reveal the secrets to a lasting marriage
April 10, 2022/Comments Off on 19 People reveal the secrets to a lasting marriage
Keep dating each other.“Dating is an important part of keeping the relationship healthy. If you are not dating, start. Make it simple. Go to the park and eat sandwiches. Talk about good memories and future plans. Don’t talk about work, breakdowns, or difficult issues.”
—Jay Pyatt
Don’t just love them — like them.“After the intoxication of love and lust wear off, do you like the other person as a person. Seems obvious you have to like who you marry, but many get carried away in the romance and whirlwind events of engagement and marriage and find out later they actually wouldn’t pick their partner if hypothetically there was no attraction and they were choosing a friend. So liking your partner as a person outside of attraction is a must.”—Barry Webber
Go bungee-jumping.“According to Psychology Today, couples can improve their love for each other when they spend their time together exploring new and challenging activities. If you’re going to go bungee jumping for the first time, your relationship will benefit when you and your partner face this challenge together. If you’re not up to bungee jumping, seek out mentally challenging ways to spice up your daily routines.” — Srinivas Krishnaswamy
Know that there’s more to learn about each other.“A constant interest in learning about your partner: asking questions, creating love maps, checking in with curiosity on your partner’s world to enhance your knowledge of each other and your relationship together” — Luis Congdon
Crack plenty of jokes.“A healthy sense of humor, more humor, and plenty of ‘sick’ humor. If you’re able to drop stiff conventions and find a common denominator, you’re in for the adventure of a lifetime.” — Rico F Berg, married 29 years
Have and hold.“My father told me the short version last night.
* Before you’re married: have what you love.
* After you’re married: love what you have.
This means you have to find someone you love dearly before you marry them. When you’re married the grass will start to look better on the other side, but then you need to love this woman you’re married to.
My parents have been married for 34 years now.”
—Bennie van Eeden
Your partner can’t read your mind.“When you’re mad or resentful, say so! Don’t keep things in, or hope your partner can figure out why you’re unhappy. No one can read your mind, even the one who loves you the most. When you argue, stick to what you’re angry about. Don’t call names, bring up old stuff or disparage your spouse. When you get to the point that you feel like walking away (and everyone does at one point or another), stop to remember at least three times your partner was the best thing in your life. Then take a deep breath, hold on to the memories of those joys, and go back to loving her/him.”—Elizabeth Belden Handler, married 40 years
Ego is a murderer.“In any argument, know when to back down. Let go of your ego. Relationships don’t die. They’re murdered by ego.”—Kapil Aggarwal
It’s never you vs. your partner.“No matter what comes at you in your relationship, (or in life) it is never you against your spouse. It is ALWAYS you and your spouse against the issue. Often we get caught up in placing blame and designating responsibility to only one person. However, when you are in a marriage, you have made a commitment to become ‘one’, and you are to tackle all issues as a unit.” — Oliver Marcelle
Answer this simple question every morning.“When you wake up in the morning, think ‘What can I do to make her day or his day just a little happier?’ You need to turn toward each other, and if you focus on the other person even just for that five minutes when you first wake up, it’s going to make a big difference in your relationship. That’s likely to really work for many years. So start each day thinking about what you can give that special person in your life.” — Karl Pillemer
R-E-S-P-E-C-T.“Respectful love. Not just love, or romantic love, but the love where you genuinely respect your spouse and who they are as a person, their feelings, their achievements, and everything they bring to the relationship. Being excited for them when they get a raise or promotion or just for putting together a book shelf. These things help to bolster their self-esteem and their perceived worth in your eyes. It also helps to create that trust, the one where you feel safe and where you can just be yourself. Knowing that at the end of the day they look forward to coming home, instead of dreading it.” — Katie Bekei, married 15+ years
You have to need each other.“The secret of marriage is need. Both partners must need each other. If one needs and the other does not, the marriage won’t be happy or long.”—Glenn Watson
