8 No No’s for Relating to your Husband

They say that men are simple creatures and easier to understand than women. It’s a too if-if debate. But what we do know is that men are wired quite differently to women when it comes to communication, processing information and yes, even hormonally. There are many mistakes wives may be making in relating to their husbands. By addressing some of these, you may find communication and your relationship grows stronger every day.

1. Your Hubby is not your BFF

Yes, he may listen politely to you complaining about how irritating your sister is/ how angry you are about not being invited to your cousin’s wedding and how excited you are about the new eyeshadows at M.A.C. Men, in general, do not have the same need to talk about everything in the same way that women do. Call a girlfriend to vent, and feel better. Your hubby will be exhausted.

2. Never forget Man Cave Time

Men have testosterone- which drops as the day goes on. Arriving home after a long day at work, your husband needs to “switch off” to recharge his batteries. Don’t ask him to do chores etc. early in the evening. Let him relax. Women don’t need recharge time in the same way that men physically need to be in their own space, whether it’s reading a newspaper or watching tv. Once he is rested, he will be far more capable, and functional.

3. Men Are Problem Solvers

From a young age, men are socialized to be independent. It is their rational and non- emotional quality that is a great skill. Remember to ask your hubby to help you. Feeling needed and being helpful is something men need to feel. Being an independent woman does not mean doing everything and solving problems on your own. Your husband will appreciate being asked for help.

4. Never Do The Heavy Lifting

Yes, you may be completely capable of carrying your groceries or that heavy suitcase, but your husband can do it without breaking into a sweat. Men are strong and showing you how effortlessly they can do the heavy lifting is rewarding. Your husband is there for you. Allow your husband to be a man and put away your independent streak for five minutes.

5. Go Shopping with a Friend

Most men find shopping an unrewarding exercise. Asking your husband to accompany you, as your trawl through the Mall, will be painful and frustrating for him. If you’re only going to a few shops, he may enjoy the outing but if you’re planning an aimless wander, go with a girlfriend. To your husband, a whole afternoon spent browsing through stores will be torture.

6. Don’t plan his driving route

Your husband, like most men, will be very sensitive about their driving skills. The ability to plan a route, negotiate traffic and get to your destination is more than just driving. It’s part of being a man. Captain. Explorer. Conqueror of the world, a cowboy on his racing steed. Captains and Explorers don’t need to stop, check directions or need navigators.

7. Never Flirt with Other Men

Your husband, like all men, are very jealous and possessive in a way that is hardwired into their biology. Fighting, anger, and violence are often over women. Your husband may be a gentleman and Prince but be irrational when it comes to the attention you pay to other men. Be judicious in the compliments and friendships you have with other men.

8. Men need Extra TLC when Unwell

Your husband, and all men, do not have the same energy reserves as women. When your husband is ill, he may need extra mothering and care. As independent as your husband may be men require extra care when they have “man flu” – biology. Your husband really does feel awful when he is not well. Get the chicken soup cooking and his medication ready.