6 Tips For The Perfect Family Trip
2. Raise Your Expectations.
Even though we plan less, we expect a lot of the kids. Travel is a chance for them to gain competencies and abilities they will need in life. Travel is a stretching experience that requires kids to step out of their comfort zones and helps them grow. Travel will give them a chance to be uncomfortable, eat food they may not like, do things they may not enjoy, and carry their own weight, literally and figuratively. For starters, the act of traveling by car or by plane is often tedious and boring. They may be tired and uncomfortable. That is no excuse to have a bad attitude or a tantrum.
When we fly to the United States to visit family, the door-to-door trip from our house in the Middle East to our destination in the United States usually lasts at least twenty-four hours. We still expect the kids to behave. These marathon flights have helped the kids become more resilient. They have learned that no matter how tired they are, no matter how hungry or uncomfortable they might feel, there is no excuse for a tantrum. And that’s an important lesson, really. We all hope for the best for our children, but no matter how well we plan, there is no way to protect them from the pains of life. The only thing we can do is help them develop the resilience to deal with whatever comes their way. That starts with higher expectations.
Plan an itinerary that is fun for everyone. I find it is best to mix things up with big city time as well as time in nature. Mix historical sights with downtime at a park. Just because you are traveling with young children, doesn’t mean that the trip has to be kid-centric. In Belgium, we walked through First World War trenches. In Normandy, we contemplated Omaha Beach and the American Cemetery.
In Hiroshima, we explored the Peace Memorial Museum and learned about the devastation of the atomic bomb. It is an intense place and at one point our five-year-old started crying. It gave us a chance to talk about war and violence and what we can do in our lives to live in peace with others. I want my children to understand, as Henri Nouwen said, that “[i]n the face of the oppressed I recognize my own face, and in the hands of the oppressor I recognize my own hands.”
At Petra in Jordan, we hiked over thirteen miles with three young kids. It was a stretch for our four-year-old, and by the end of the day we were all exhausted, but everyone made it. The kids ended the day with a sense of accomplishment. In Vienna, we attended a Bach and Mozart choral Christmas concert at St. Stephen’s Cathedral with a three-year-old and a six-week-old. Before we went inside, we talked to the three-year-old about our expectations and what was appropriate inside the cathedral. She made it through the entire concert without a peep. Similarly, the kids were excited to see the Prado Museum in Madrid and chatted with the docents. Our travel experiences have led me to one inescapable conclusion – children will rise or sink to whatever expectations you establish. Raise your expectations to give your kids the best trip possible.
3. Practice a Spirit of Active Travel Now.
You don’t have to go around the world to travel. You don’t even have to leave your town. For me, travel is questioning. It is asking the who, what, when, where, why, and how of everything around me. It is learning the stories of those who have gone before and realized that they were not that different from me. It is questioning the things in my life of which I am certain and daring to ask, “What am I missing? What am I failing to see? How might I be wrong? How does life look different from another perspective?” No matter your location or income you can travel today by actively looking at the world around you.
This is something we practice with our kids every day. We look at bugs outside. We walk around the neighborhood collecting rocks. We talk about the plants that are blooming. We go into our local town in the Middle East and practice haggling. In South Florida, we explored local, and state parks. Most of our “travel” is done in our neighborhood. That means that when we go on a trip, we don’t really stray from our usual routine. We do the same exploring as always, just in a new location.
Take your kids to the grocery store. Look at the produce. Practice picking out the perfect avocado. Talk about where avocados grow and try growing one of your own. This is what active travel looks like. It requires something of the traveler, but it also rewards the active traveler with riches never found by passive tourists.
