6 Easy Ways to Spice Up Your (Married) Sex Life

3. Schedule romantic activities.

“Taking time out to spend with your partner is one of the most loving things you can do for each other,” says Susan Kaye, PhD, a sex therapist located in San Antonio and Austin, Texas, and Philadelphia. “I suggest that couples get a copy of the book 8 Erotic Nights, which offers eight sensual activities that will show you and your partner how to please each other.” Take turns picking out an activity and you’ll connect more passionately with your partner.

4. Share your fantasies.

“Fantasies are underutilized by couples,” says Roger Libby, PhD, a sex therapist and adjunct professor and distinguished lecturer at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Sexuality in San Francisco. “But it’s important to use your imagination and share your most erotic desires with your partner.” If you’re feeling shy, set the mood by lighting some candles, turning off electronics, and playing romantic music. Once you’re both feeling relaxed and intimate, open up to your significant other.

5. Watch a sexy DVD.

“I recommend couples watch and discuss The Better Sex Video Series, which is a compilation of sex education pieces,” says Dr. Libby. “It shows real life couples exploring sexual positions and techniques and talking about what they enjoy.” You’ll learn Kama Sutra positions, sexual anatomy (including the elusive G-spot), erotic massage, and the four fundamentals of foreplay (oral sex, erotic talk, sensual touch, and kissing).

6. See a sex therapist.

Still feeling stuck in a rut? Consider seeing a certified sex therapist. “Therapy is not necessarily reserved for problems,” says Needle. “It can be about education, growth, and sexual development.” To find a sex therapist near you, check out the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

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