5 Big Signs Your Sex Life Needs A Makeover

3. You find yourself making excuses.
Have you ever eaten too much and complained you’re “too full for sex”? That’s just one common excuse you may be making to get out of being intimate with your partner. But you can change habits like those to improve your sex life, Nelson said.

“The food is a replacement for sex, and there is a reason you are eating instead of making love,” Nelson said. There can be a number of reasons for making that substitute, she explained. Maybe you’re not getting the sex you want or need, or maybe you’re not getting the affection you deserve. Whatever it may be, talk about it with your partner, Nelson said.

4. You do it the same way every time.
After having intercourse for a while with the same partner, you may fall into “maintenance sex” mode. This isn’t a bad thing — it means you’ve already learned what to do to make your partner feel good. But doing the same stuff over and over can turn good sex into boring sex quickly, Nelson warned.

“Don’t give up the maintenance sex,” Nelson said. “But add something new every once in a while.” Those changes can be as simple as bringing a new sex toy into the bed, using massage oil on your skin, or putting a scarf over the lamp to switch up the lighting.

“A small addition can make the whole night feel totally new,” Nelson said.

5. It takes longer to get aroused.
Declining sex drive is an unfortunate product for people as they age, as well as for those couples in long-term relationships. However, don’t fret, Sophocles said, as you can easily get yourself in the mood with a few simple steps. It’s all about changing your frame of mind.

“You can bring erotic intimacy and imagery into yourself — whether it’s reading, magazines, or movies that reinvigorate your brain to want to have sex,” she said. “You can look at your partner not just as the guy taking the trash out or the woman picking up your children, but as your lover and as your intimate partner.”

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