43 Married People Confess Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Spouse
11. Got tired of doing all the work and following the exact same script every time.
“Got tired of doing all the work and following the exact same script every time. Took me a while but I finally got the hint.”
12. She gained over 100 lbs., and I am just not attracted anymore.
“She gained over 100 lbs., and I am just not attracted anymore.
This happened over the 12 years we have been married. She’s the love of my life and has given me 2 children. We have talked about it, but it’s not easy. The problem is, she’s lazy, and we’ve talked about that, too. Honestly, I’ve been through an emotional roller coaster of everything from acceptance to resentment to depression. It’s the single biggest stressor in my life (maybe that means I’m lucky, since others have it worse). In the end, I can’t justify splitting up our family over it, so I just deal with it.”
13. I got fat. She doesn’t find me (as) attractive anymore.
“I got fat. She doesn’t find me (as) attractive anymore (fair enough).
Still trying to shed the weight since I miss the sexy times.
Also I’m simply exhausted from work and she’s shattered from looking after our 18-month-old so we are both passing out most nights on the sofa. We then wake up, realize we have missed two episodes of some show on Netflix, and crawl our way to bed to start over the next day.”
14. She says it takes away from her work as a nude cam model.
“My wife cams and since I don’t like doing that with her anymore sex drive pretty much disappeared because she does it every day almost and having sex takes away from her wanting to work or because of her work she won’t want to…so I just please myself and we are good.”
15. She got drunk and said she was sick of acting like my dick did something for her.
“She got drunk and said she was sick of acting like my dick did something for her. She later said that she was just mad and trying to hurt my feelings but I don’t know what to believe. Now she thinks we’re trying to work through it but, in reality, I’m just waiting for our lease to end to kill myself.”
16. She said no often enough that I quit asking.
“She said no often enough that I quit asking.
I’d rather be celibate than accept a pity lay or have her have sex with me out of duty. I’m good-looking and relatively fit, she’s just more interested in exhausting herself with kids and other people and doesn’t save energy enough for me (she’s not a very touch centric person with her affections).
So I just decided to reset my mental expectations so that I’m not disappointed or angry at her. No unmet expectations=not angry with my wife.
It does feel more like we are roommates who are partners in raising kids than anything else though.”
17. It has gotten to the point where I could tell she was only doing it for me, and I began to feel as though I was essentially raping her.
“I gave up.
We’ve been together since the mid-80s, so there’s that. I still find her very attractive, but she has 0 interest. Until last fall we were still doing it, but over the past four or five years it has gotten to the point where I could tell she was only doing it for me, and I began to feel as though I was essentially raping her. I never forced myself on her, but her lack of enthusiasm (to the point of curling up when facing me so I could not see or touch her breasts or vagina) made me feel like a total creep. I was frank with her. She claims she wants to continue, but I just don’t believe it. If I made her dinner every night and she hardly touched it, over time I would get the impression she didn’t like my cooking. Why make the effort if it’s not wanted? That’s how I feel. So I’m done.”
18. My wife developed a germ/dirtiness phobia around year one of our marriage.
“My wife developed a germ/dirtiness phobia around year one of our marriage. It’ll be 5yrs soon and there’s little to no contact of any kind physically at this point.”
19. She started blatantly using it to get something she wanted or to cover up something she did.
“It stopped being fun after 30 years married. She started blatantly using it to get something she wanted or to cover up something she did. That feeling of being played just kills you inside.”
20. I am coming to the realization that she doesn’t love me anymore.
“12 years married. We’re very compatible together in every way but that one. I don’t know what happened. She claims she just doesn’t have much drive anymore. In the span of one year, we had sex one time. And at the one year point, I was gutted emotionally and had almost completely disengaged. I did make an effort to try again and have a nice weekend but when we got to that time, she rejected me again. I flipped the hell out and oddly enough, she didn’t know that it had been, in fact, a year. It got better (subjectively) for about three months but it’s been another three months since last time. I feel like we’re slipping back into the old routine of nothing again.
In these last three months, I have been genuinely observing her. I am coming to the realization that she doesn’t love me anymore. We had people visiting in January and she was all about affection to them. I asked her later if she thought she was the same person around our friends as she is to me. She didn’t take to that question very well but I think it woke something up because she started being more affectionate.
I’m steadily growing bitter about it and I know that doesn’t help at all so it’s a vicious cycle.”
More on next page…
