21 Great Stories About How The Wedding Night REALLY Goes

11. “My wife was literally crying because I was taking too long to undo the 800 buttons on the back of her dress that was now hurting her shoulders too much to wear. Then she cried as I pulled out the 8,000 hairpins. A few strands of hair and 30 minutes later we attempted sex, both decided we were tired, said ‘f**k it,’ and went to bed cuddling. Love that woman.”

12. “We had been drinking for hours. We ran into our room, had a decent quickie, ran out into the hallway where I declared in a loud, drunken whisper, ‘I don’t have panties on,’ while following our friends to an after-party in another hotel room. Turns out my mom was behind me and howled with laughter, hugged me and told me I was the perfect daughter. Then she handed me a bottle of whiskey and sent me off with my husband to brew a wicked hangover.”

via Giphy

13. “We eloped without telling anyone and got married in the basement of the courthouse in Harrison, Arkansas. Went home, wife went to her overnight job while I laid on the couch and watched TV.”

14. “We had our hotel room the day before the wedding. Got to the church, did our thing, had a blast at the reception. We leave the reception, my bride tells me her period started at the church. We walked around our favorite store and bought a new board game. We played Monopoly and watched TV on the most comfortable bed we had ever slept on.”

15. “We were exhausted and got to our hotel pretty late. My wife dressed up in some sexy lingerie she got as a gift and we proceeded to crawl into bed. We ate wedding food leftovers packed up for us and had a bottle of champagne and chocolate strawberries while our dog snuggled with us and begged for scraps. It was perfect.”

16. “No sex. Only sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep.”