20 Of The Funniest One-Liners About Marriage

11. A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

12. Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

13. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes – about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.

14. Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that… ‘This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose’

15. My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?

16 .It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.

17. I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing.

18. My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.

19. Never get on one knee for a girl who won’t get on two for you.

20. Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?