We Only Had Quickie Sex For A Month & This Is How It Went
But one really surprising thing we learned around the halfway point? Even though we knew we probably weren’t going to be having a ton of sex during this experiment due to our schedule limitations, neither of us actually realized before we were specifically paying attention how little sex we fit into our lives on a regular basis — even quickie sex. One night, as were getting ready to go to bed, I realized that we’d only managed to do it a handful of times since we started. Could that be right? “We probably need to have some more sex so I have more to write about,” I said to him.
“Wanna do it now?”
“…Now? Like, right now? I dunno, I’m kinda tired.”
“Oh good, because I really want to go to bed, but you know I’m not going to turn it down.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“The same, sleep-deprived page.”
If It Ain’t Broke…
So what was it like having only quickies for a month? On one hand, it was really fun, and a way to add some excitement into our sex life. After all, if all goes to plan, we’ll only be sleeping with each other until one of us dies, so the more we can do to not get sick of each other the better. But at the same time it was kind of a total bummer. We honestly did not even realize how rarely we actually carve out time for sex, and that is super lame.
That said, maybe it doesn’t really matter how often we have sex. Right now neither of us are complaining about our sex life, so maybe however often we’re doing it is often enough for us right now. I’ve read plenty of times the recommendation that you should schedule sex, and that you should have sex with your partner even when you don’t feel like it (though, to be clear, “not feeling like it” and “not consenting to it” are definitely different things in this context), but as someone who struggled so long with really negative sex experiences, both of those things feel like a lot of pressure. Even though sex hasn’t hurt in a long time, I still worry that it might magically start hurting again (I don’t know why it started in the first place, so it seems possible it could come back). So if I’m not feeling it, I’ve found it’s best to go with that feeling.
Would I recommend having more quickies? Definitely, especially if you feel like you’ve been stuck in a rut. But what I think might actually be more helpful would be trying to let go of as much sex life judgment as possible instead. It’s so easy to assume that other couples are doing it more than you, that you’re not enjoying it enough, that sometimes has to change to make it over-the-top amazing all the time. But it seems like all that thinking seems to do is put a damper on something that would otherwise be really positive. After all, if it feels good to us both, then it’s good, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it.
