Respect in Marriage: 10 Ways to Show It (and Signs of Disrespect)
Last updated October 29, 2026 by the Marriage Bliss Editorial Team.
Respect in marriage means treating your spouse as an equal partner whose feelings, opinions and boundaries matter, even when you disagree. Love can survive plenty of hard seasons, but it struggles to survive without respect. Couples who stay respectful during conflict tend to stay together; couples where contempt creeps in tend to drift apart.
Here are 10 ways to show respect to your husband or wife, and the signs of disrespect in marriage to watch for.
10 ways to show respect in marriage
1. Listen without interrupting
Let your spouse finish, and ask questions before responding.
2. Value their opinion
Ask for their input on decisions big and small, and take it seriously.
3. Speak kindly, especially in conflict
No insults, sarcasm or eye-rolling. Read our rules for fighting fair.
4. Speak well of them to others
Don’t complain about your spouse to friends, family or on social media.
5. Keep your word
Following through shows you take your commitments to them seriously.
6. Respect their boundaries
Their privacy, their need for space, their limits. See boundaries in marriage.
7. Support their independence
Encourage their friendships, career and hobbies.
8. Share responsibilities
Treating your spouse like a partner, not a housekeeper or an ATM, is respect in action.
9. Apologize when you’re wrong
Owning mistakes shows you respect how your actions affect them.
10. Appreciate them out loud
Notice the effort they make and thank them for it.
How to show respect to your husband
Many husbands feel most respected when their wives trust their judgment, appreciate their effort, and avoid criticizing them in front of others. Ask your husband what makes him feel respected. The answer may surprise you.
How to show respect to your wife
Many wives feel most respected when their husbands listen, share the household and parenting load, value their opinions, and support their goals.
Respectful vs. disrespectful: everyday examples
| Disrespectful | Respectful |
|---|---|
| “You’re so dramatic.” | “I can see this really upset you.” |
| Buying something big without asking | “I’m thinking of buying this. What do you think?” |
| Correcting them in front of friends | Raising it privately later |
| Checking your phone while they talk | Putting the phone down and turning toward them |
| “Whatever, do what you want.” | “I disagree, but I want to understand your reasons.” |
How to bring up disrespect with your spouse
- Choose a calm, private moment.
- Describe one specific behavior: “When you rolled your eyes while I was talking at dinner…”
- Say how it affected you: “…I felt dismissed and embarrassed.”
- Ask for a specific change: “Can we agree to talk privately when we disagree?”
- Listen to their side. They may feel disrespected in ways you haven’t noticed.
How to rebuild respect
- Stop the worst habits first: contempt, mocking and public criticism.
- Replace criticism with requests.
- Say thank you daily for something specific.
- Keep small promises to rebuild trust.
- Consider counseling if contempt has become a pattern.
Her side, his side
Her side: “When he makes decisions without asking me, I feel like an employee, not a partner.”
His side: “When she corrects me in front of the kids, I feel like she doesn’t trust me as a dad.”
Both are describing respect. Talking about what makes each of you feel respected, specifically, is the starting point.
Signs of disrespect in marriage
- Name-calling, mocking or eye-rolling
- Dismissing feelings (“You’re overreacting”)
- Making big decisions without asking
- Criticizing them in front of others
- Ignoring boundaries or privacy
- Constant interrupting
- Controlling money, friendships or where they go
Persistent disrespect, especially controlling or intimidating behavior, can be a form of emotional abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788) can help.
Related: the four horsemen of divorce and how to build trust in a marriage.
Want more on this topic? See our guide to the habits of a happy marriage.
Frequently asked questions
Why is respect important in marriage?
Respect creates safety. Without it, communication breaks down and contempt, one of the strongest predictors of divorce, takes over.
What does disrespect look like in a marriage?
Insults, dismissing feelings, controlling behavior, public criticism, and ignoring boundaries.
Can respect be rebuilt in a marriage?
Yes, through consistent changes in how you speak and act, often with help from a couples counselor.
The bottom line
Respect is the quiet foundation of a lasting marriage. Listen, value your spouse’s opinions, speak kindly even in conflict and keep your word. When respect slips, name it calmly and rebuild it with small, consistent changes.
