Top 10 Tips About Dealing With Personal Habits in a Marriage

6. Negative impacts of parenting

If you have children, much of your time and effort often revolves around your kids. When you put your children ahead of your relationship, you are doing a disservice to your marriage and to your kids. Don’t let your children stay up past their bedtimes, interrupt your conversations or demand your time in ways that take time away from your adult interactions. You and your spouse need to agree on what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Doing this will help your marriage and will set a good example for your children.

7. Are our habits making us good role models?

Your marriage shows itself to the outside world by your habits and behaviors. Is your marriage a positive model to people that are important to you? What are the messages that both of you want to send to the world? Are you making the right choices together and separately?

8. Do I have emotional habits that drag you down?

Negative thinking is a dark whirlwind that you can get stuck in. Self-defeating and negative habits playing on a loop can reign the mind, making the nasty thoughts more powerful, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and anger. Often, we are unaware of this pattern ourselves but those closest to us are the daily witness to our emotional and mental habits, and that could infect them, too.

Could you be infecting your spouse with your negative thoughts? What can you do to break this cycle of self-destruction, to save yourself and your marriage? Discuss this with your partner and see what you can do for each other to rid or prevent this from happening.

9. Hygiene

When you first start dating, you put in a lot of effort in your appearance and hygiene. You want your partner to have the best and you try to become that in every way possible. As you get comfortable with each other, especially after getting married, you tend to not focus on your outside appearance as much. Hygiene, unfortunately, can fall behind as well. It’s hard to tell your loved one that you’re uncomfortable with some aspects of their lack of personal care. If your spouse’s appearance and hygiene are hindering your sex life, it is a topic that must be discussed. Try going into this conversation in a respectful and gentle manner.

10. How can we be more accepting of areas of incompatibility with our habits?

Each of you is going to have habits that you are not willing to change and that is okay. If you like to read before bed, but your partner wants the lights out, discuss how this problem can be resolved without having to comprise your habit. Maybe your spouse likes playing video games, but you think that it is a waste of time. Try playing a game or two with them to see the things from their point of view. You can’t be entirely compatible in all your activities, and both of you need to feel the freedom to have independent habits that are important to you. Discuss together how you both can be accepting and respectful of these areas of incompatibility.

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