I hadn’t felt like sex for some time and our marriage was suffering. I was just not interested and in my husband’s mind, this meant that I didn’t love him anymore. I knew I had to do something to save our marriage. I had a lightbulb moment one day when I was reading about the power of a kiss. I realized that when we first met, we had kissed long and deeply but after a year of marriage, kissing consisted of a perfunctory peck on the cheek before he left for work.
The long kiss
I came up with the idea that we would give each other a long enough kiss every day that we couldn’t fake it. I ran the idea past my husband and we decided to try it for a week. At first, we were very aware of what we were trying and I wondered whether this was going to work. But the miraculous started to happen. By the third day, we were starting to get lost in the kiss. We were normally too busy for this to happen and it was refreshing to realize that we still had this kind of connection.
I didn’t have any other agenda
I knew that kissing had been important to us at the start of our relationship and that I had thought of my husband as a great kisser. I had read a story about one woman and a husband who had decided to have sex every day for a year to see what it did for their marriage. My little experiment seemed pretty tame in comparison but I did think that kissing would perhaps take us back a little to those early days when it had meant so much to us. I didn’t expect regular kissing to suddenly re-ignite our sex life but I did hope that it would create more closeness.
We start to feel closer
I discovered that it is virtually impossible to kiss for a while and not feel closer. This purposeful kissing was having the desired effect. That kiss would stay in my head all day and I would think about my husband frequently. He confided that the kissing was making him feel more attractive and loved again and that he kept thinking about me too.
I remember what he is to me
The closeness of a long kiss made me remember what drew me to this other person in the first place. It made me more aware of the feel of his skin and his smell. I was able to tune out all the distractions of my daily life and focus only on him for those few moments. I began to have romantic feelings about him again after a long time of seeing him more as an irritating roommate than a sexual partner.
It didn’t stop with the kissing
I took a while but kissing seemed to open the door to sexual thoughts and I found myself wanting to go further. The kissing was pretty much like a shot of adrenaline and when we had to break it off and go to work it created a kind of delicious anticipation.
My husband had never pressurized me at all to have sex when I was so disinterested. He wanted me to be fully present and enjoy it as much as he did. I found that the kissing was starting to make me feel differently – I felt as though I was getting in touch with my own sexuality again and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to make love to my husband. Who would have thought that such a simple act could have done so much for our marriage?