Attract Your Best Partner by Being Your Own Best Lover

My radio guest, Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Qigong and Meditation Teacher, Sexual Awakening for Women Facilitator, and Author of “The Multi-Orgasmic Diet.” She’s on a mission to help women live healthier lives, step into their power, love themselves more, experience more joy, and live life to the fullest. Rebecca has been running her own business, Elemental Harmony, PLLC since 2007 and lives in Seattle, Washington.

Following are highlights for this episode. You can also listen to the full podcast below. 

Why is it important to practice self-love?

I view self-love as a foundation for optimal health and well-being. It’s important to feel good on your own, regardless of what’s happening in your love life. 

How do you define self-love?

It’s a feeling of genuinely caring for and accepting yourself, treating yourself well, prioritizing yourself, and doing things that make you feel good. 

How do you find the things that make you feel good?

You have to be aware of how you feel in various situations and activities with others and yourself. Recognize what feels good and what doesn’t. 

What’s an exercise that will help people tap into their intuitive gut feelings?

Shut your eyes and bring your attention to your breath to help you feel into your body. If you’re standing, think of a food or hold it and notice if your body is leaning back or forward. Or maybe there’s a feeling of openness or contraction. 

How can you be your own best lover?

Get clear on your own with what’s best for you so you can communicate that when you’re on a date. 

Categories of self-love: 

1. Self-pleasuring: Get in touch with what type of touch is good for you. It doesn’t have to be about orgasm, but about pleasurable touch.

2. Look in the mirror: Find and appreciate your own beauty. Look into your eyes in the way that you’d look at your lover. It can be painful or uncomfortable if you’re sad or lonely. It’s a very empowering practice to do on a regular practice. You can look at your face or body, clothed or naked.

3. Get out of your head and into your body: Do some sort of movement. Jumping jacks, get on the floor and crawl around, go for a walk around the block. This can help you get more in touch with feelings. Breathe into your heart and belly. Let yourself cry if you need to. Allow your feelings to be there. 

4. Journal your feelings: This helps you to acknowledge your feelings to yourself.

What do you suggest to people who really struggle with loving themselves or doing these practices?

Some people need help beyond coaching or beyond my book but start with getting clear on what you want, and what it would feel like to have that. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Start small. You can do a guided meditation or a movement/energy practice. And reach out for help to a friend or therapist or coach. You don’t have to be stuck.

Listen to the Podcast, here:


This article originally appeared on Last First Date and is republished here with permission from the author.

RSVP to join weekly calls on Love, Sex & Relationships

Photo credit: Getty Images