7 Reasons You Should Be Jealous Of Married Sex
5. Being married takes the guesswork out of sex.
When you’re married, all you have to do is raise your eyebrow, and it’s a sure thing that you’ll be doing the horizontal hula as soon as the kids stop asking for water and extra stories at bedtime.
6. Married people don’t care about stained yoga pants and unshaven legs.
Just like throwing the sexy lingerie out the window, married people look beyond the disheveled outer shell that parenthood often leaves us with. Greasy hair, stained stretch pants, dark circles under our eyes. My husband looks beyond “hasn’t seen a razor in a while” armpits, and I still see the man who used to have a full head of hair when we are intimate. Being married means no judgment for missed showers or three-day-old stubble. Married people are just grateful someone still wants to have sex with us, so we are willing to overlook minor imperfections. (But you must wash your pork sword before a BJ. No exceptions.)
7. Married people really do have sex — a lot.
It’s a misnomer that once a couple gets married, the sex all but stops. Far from it, in fact. Married people are just as sexually active as those young hipsters in those meat market bars I drove by in New York City. We’re just smart enough to get it on from the comfort of our couches. And often, we can be done in time to watch an episode of House Hunters before bed (okay, some married stereotypes are true).
While I admit there are some phases of life where we are far more — ahem — active than others, that just seems par for the course. It ebbs and flows, and I wouldn’t trade my married sex life for anything. While kids and busy careers make it difficult sometimes to connect under the sheets, it’s only a matter of time until our kids graduate and move out. And we’ll feel like horny college kids again.
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