5 Ways Marriage Is Harder in 2017 (and What You Can Do About It)
COUPLES ARE HAVING A HARDER TIME COMMUNICATING
You’d think that with modern day technology, allowing you to shoot over a text or email any time of day, communicating with your partner would be easier. But clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly says it’s actually causing complications.
“Many couples are seeking assistance on basic communication skills,” she says. “Electronic communications are often at the root of misunderstandings. When texts, emails and even telephones are used as a replacement for in-person discussions, communication often suffers. It is easy for couples to misunderstand each other when there is not a ready, in-person opportunity to add clarity and address any misunderstandings. As well, such contact is devoid of the vital messages contained in body language, eye contact and facial expressions.”
Today’s married couples are also competing with more of a time deficit when it comes to having these important face-to-face conversations. “Busy schedules leave couples rushed in the mornings and exhausted at the end of the day,” says Dr. Manly. “Communication is often shoved into tight spaces, such as when the kids are doing homework, dinner is being cooked or as preparations are made for winding down for the night. None of these common situations allow for the focused attention on whatever topics might be at issue.”
PEOPLE ARE ENTERING MARRIAGE WITH MORE BAGGAGE
Today, the majority of men and women are spending a good chunk of their 20’s solo. But psychologist Dr. Vijayeta Sinh, PhD, says that while this has benefits for our careers and friendships, it can also make operating as one half of a couple harder to do in the long run.
Putting marriage off until later in life can be a double-edged sword: people are more mature, but are also more settled in their single lifestyle.
“Getting married older means struggling with adjustment issues,” he explains. “By the time we reach our late 20s, we’ve already figured out for the most part who we are and what we are/are not willing to put up with, which in turn makes it harder to adjust to the other person, their likes/dislikes and preferences.”
Compromise is key to any marriage, and an established feeling of independence can make the ability to do so much harder. It’s also worth noting that the more time we spend alone, the more time we have to form personal habits that may not jive with the person we end up marrying.
“Because people are putting off marriage to later in life they tend to have more baggage that they bring into the relationship and marriage,” says psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert. “For example, bad habits from past relationships. Putting marriage off until later in life can be a double-edged sword — they might be more mature and ready for marriage because they’re more settled in their careers and feel more stable — but they’ve had more time to get comfortable being single and might feel more settled in their single lifestyle.”
This article is from NBCNews
