15 Signs Your Relationship Is Solid as a Rock

You don’t want him to change

“Oftentimes the very qualities that attracted you to someone can repel you later,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband): How to Date Your Spouse. “For instance, you may have originally loved that your husband was so fun and spontaneous. Now, you may complain that he never plans anything in advance!” In good relationships, you’re not secretly hoping he’ll drink less, make more money, or have six-pack abs. Syrtash suggests that you try remember what endeared you to him in the first place—instead of trying to change him.

You trust one another

If you’re in a solid and strong relationship, you have no problem with her going out with the girls on a Friday night. “Trust and respect are the foundation of any healthy relationship,” Syrtash says. “Without them, it won’t work.” You know he’d never do anything to betray your trust or something that would hurt you. You have one another’s backs and don’t keep secrets. These 11 signs mean you can trust your partner.

You know he’s into you

“In a healthy relationship, each partner will know how much they care about the other, because they’ll be focused on meeting their basic needs—emotional support, companionship, and affection,” says Lisa Hochberger, M.ED., a sexologist, sexuality educator and relationship expert. You don’t feel like you’re trying to figure out his true motives, because his words and actions reveal how he really feels about you. If he doesn’t text or call you back right away, that’s OK since you know that you’re solid.

It doesn’t feel like you’re in a constant battle

This doesn’t mean your relationship is without conflict, but it shouldn’t drive the relationship. “Mature couples learn how to interrupt a spiraling-out-of-control issue with a timeout ,” says Jim Walkup, doctorate of ministry, a licensed marriage counselor who practices in New York City and White Plains, New York. “Couples who review their battles and plan what they’ll do different next time will reduce the hurt since they’ve built a solid base,” he says. Find out more about what not to do after a fight with your partner.

You can fight and not freak out about it

When you’re in a healthy relationship, you know that you can have a disagreement and it doesn’t mean you’ll break up. Arguing is a normal part of being a couple. “Disagreements are an inevitable part of relationships,” says Hall. “If you’re both able to hear the other person’s side calmly and rationally and have a willingness to work through it, you’re far more likely to be able to resolve the conflict and move on.” Check out the marriage advice of people together for 50+ years.

You’re comfortable with one another

It’s easy to be happy with someone when you’re getting wined and dined, more challenging when it’s just the two of you at home. You’ll know your relationship can make the long haul when wou can wear your sweats after a long day and feel comfortable doing so. Date night can be just him, some Netflix, Chinese takeout, and the sofa and that’s not only acceptable, it’s what you want. Check out the anniversary traditions that make couples happy.

You miss her when you’re not together

You think of your mate during the day and she thinks of you. You know you’re thought of when she texts, emails, or calls. If you’re traveling for work, you’re sad you won’t see her for a few days, and she communicates that she feels the same way. Don’t miss the things you should tell your spouse every day for a happier marriage.

You make decisions together

One person doesn’t call all the shots. “The best relationships have a ‘we factor’ instead of a ‘me factor,'” says Samantha Burns, a licensed counselor and dating coach. “You’ve successfully transitioned from single life to functioning as a unified team, when it’s ‘What are we doing this weekend?’ rather than one person making individual plans without consulting their partner.” This goes for everything from what to have for dinner to where you want to live in the future. For continued marital bliss, learn the little ways you can strengthen your marriage in just one day.

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