13 Things You Need to Know About Sex in Your 40s
You may be at greater risk for STDs
STDs may seem like a worry for 20-somethings, but research by the Centers for Disease Control show that the numbers of people over 40 who develop STDs continues to rise. Experts say that’s due in part to the prevalence of erectile dysfunction drugs, the reduced need for birth control, and the thinning of the vaginal tissues, which can make women more susceptible to infection. So even if the chances of pregnancy are slim to none, using condoms with a new partner is key for your health.
Men may want to take action to prevent erectile dysfunction
During the 40s, men may start to have erectile issues. “Men may start to find their erections less firm, or less reliable, and the time between erections may be longer,” Landes says. Before relying on erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra and Cialis, men should look at lifestyle changes that can improve their sexual health. Studies point to exercise or flavonoid-rich diets (featuring blueberries, red wine, cherries, and radishes) to help decrease the risk of ED. Remaining wedded to your gym routine will also do wonders for your equipment, guys.
You may start to focus on other forms of intimacy
Intercourse is great, but you may find yourself exploring other routes to pleasure. “Too much focus on intercourse can make sex mundane and unsatisfying if it doesn’t go as planned,” Landes says. “Learn to focus on pleasure and connection with your partner. Learn more about what you like, now that you have less of a sense of urgency. Sex can be like enjoying a gourmet meal in midlife compared to the fast-food version some people have when they are younger.”
You’ll be refocused on your relationship
Many 40-somethings are past the “raising babies” stage, and find more time freed up for spending with the one they love. “They have the emotional energy to focus on their partner as they aren’t zapped from caring for the kids or trying to establish a career,” says Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, assistant clinical professor, OB/GYN & Psychiatry at Feinberg School of Medicine, Northwestern Memorial Hospital. “They can take couples trips or meet up for a lunch date during a workday.”
Sex is still really important to you
Even if you aren’t exactly scorching up the sheets on a daily basis, studies have shown that 85 percent of women over 40 are still getting it on—and that the majority of those women still consider sex highly important to them. The key to keeping the home fires burning? Tending to them. “Great sex isn’t ‘supposed’ to just happen,” Dr. Berman says. “It’s the result of a loving, committed couple tending to their relationship. That means everything from romantic getaways to date nights to daily kisses to making sure that you take ownership of the energy you bring into the relationship. It means that you realize that you are helping to create your relationship and your reality, and that if you don’t like something in your marriage, you have the power to change it.”
